my my my [imallexx x willne]

XII.

XII.

Once again Will stood right in front of the fridge and starred at his almost empty shelf. There were a few things he technically could eat but for some wicked reason Will didn't feel like it. For the second time now he inspected the storeroom but still couldn't find something he wanted to eat.

This same procedure have kept on going the following days till Will had a really hard time forcing himself to eat at least something.

This was nothing new and Will knew where it was coming from. He kept stressing about all sorts of thoughts, he couldn't sleep anymore because he only had one thing on his mind.
What would have happened if he had confessed his feeling to Alex?

By now Will had played out every single scenario that could have happened in his mind. There were images of Alex face, full of disgust. Then he always pushed Will away and never talked to him again. And then there were the nights Will thought about how Alex face shifted into pity, is hand resting on Will's shoulder, telling him that he could never possibly feel the same.
No matter how Will turned and twisted it there never was a happy end in this scenario and the later the night went the more worse his thoughts got.

The thing was that Will really had hoped he could give up on Alex or at least his feeling would go away but the more he thought about it, the deeper he fell in this big black hole of desperation.
It's not like he could just ignore all his feelings, sometimes he saw Alex every day and that made things complicated.
When they filmed a video together Will couldn't help himself but sometimes he lost himself in Alex bright eyes when he made a joke and sometimes he admired his pointy nose with this small hint of pink right at the tip.

Then there were nights Will believed he could just find somebody else, maybe a sweet girl or a nice bloke but every time he tried to make an attempt he failed miserable.
So he just stayed alone during the nights, didn't sleep much and forgot to eat enough.

Of course James noticed and Will could always feel his eyes on him, full of pity, when they were in the same room and sometimes they talked about it, not for long just as much Will could bear at the moment and it helped. Then James thumb always softly stroke Will's hand and he thought, maybe, yes maybe this was becoming a part of Will, something he could accept one day.
Will wasn't exactly hungry; he knew he should be hungry by now because he hadn't eaten something for the whole day. But here he stood, leaning at his kitchen counter, in his hands a glass of water. His eyes so deeply fixated on the colorful reflection of the surface that he almost didn't noticed the loud voices coming in his direction. He looked up, slightly in confusion who it could be when George and

Alex entered the kitchen, laughing at something Will couldn't quite figure out.

"What are you up to?" Will asked his friends and put down his almost empty glass.

"We thought we take you with us. We're going to out to eat." George answered him with a bright smile and Will hectically searched for an excuse not to come with them but he couldn't think of any.

"We wanted to try out the new subway." Alex added and Will noticed that he seemed quieter than usually.

His friends looked at him as if they were expecting something from him, but Will was tired and he didn't want to go out to eat but he couldn't just say no. So he grabbed his wallet and followed them. It would be for the best, he knew that he definitely could use a good meal for once.

When they arrived Will just ordered basically the same as George did, he didn't feel like anything that was listed on the menu but he guessed that George had a good taste.

The food was good, at least he thought it was technically good, but Will's concentration wasn't on the sandwich right in front of him. He kept spacing out, starring at something irrelevant, the stool in front of them, the cashier or the dog who just stared back curiously at him. Will wondered if dogs could feel love, probably but do they understand the concept of unrequited love?