I need you

Chapter 1

Ella placed some of her hair behind her left ear and nervously tugged on her jacket. It was time for her to share her story, the story of why she joined group therapy. She wasn't sure she wanted to. Everyone else's stories were so brutal. A moment of doubt filled her mind. Maybe her situation wasn't that bad. Maybe Armando wasn't abusive, after all, he never hit her.

"My name is Ella." Her voice was almost in a whisper.

The room was quite. You could hear a pin drop if you listened heard enough. Everyone's eyes were fixed on Ella. It made her feel uncomfortable. This was only her third session and she was hoping to skip the open introduction. She couldn't, no one could. They all had to talk about what lead them there, eventually.

"I'm 23." She chuckled dryly. "I'm here because..." She paused. She dropped her eyes to lap and took a deep breath.

"It's okay, Ella. We've all done it. It's not easy but it helps, you know, get it out." Silvia had a look of concern on her face. Some of her shoulder length platinum hair covered half of her face. She had nose and lip piercings and tattoos all over her body. She was just as bold as her appearance.

Ella gave her an appreciative nod. "I'm here because my boyfriend treats me like crap." Her voice sounded broken. "He calls me names and tries to control my life. I can't even get away from him because we live together. I feel like a prisoner. I don't know what to do anymore. I can't cope."

"First, you have to accept that he is the way he is." Liam said in a sweet tone. His golden brown her was pulled back in a low bun. He wore ripped jeans and a  plum shirt with the word "Freedom" written on it. His hazel eyes pierced Ella's and she felt the need to look away.

"I have accepted that." Ella looked up at the ceiling. "I just can't get him to leave me alone. He won't treat me right but he won't let me go."

Liam regarded her for a minute, stroking his beard. "What would happen if you cut off all contact with him?"

"He'd kill me."

Gasp engulfed the room. Looks of horror were directed at Ella. Everyone there had already left there abusers and none of them were currently in any fear for their lives.

"When you say kill, you mean kill as in murder?" Silvia's eyes bulged.

"I was possibly being a bit dramatic." Ella tried to lighten the situation.

"Has he ever threatened to do that?" Liam asked.

"Ummm.." Ella bit her lip. She didn't want them thinking awful things about Armando. "He said it once but it was only as a joke. She tried to reassure the group.

Liam raised an eyebrow but said nothing.

"That's how everything starts— a joke." Samuel rolled his eyes. He thought about his time with his ex boyfriend. He'd always try to make light of their toxic relationship.

Ella grinned uneasily. She didn't want to say anything else. Sure, she heard some of them talk about their past but she still felt like they were judging her.

"Ella, I honestly think you haven't accepted who your boyfriend really is. You just indirectly justified his actions." Liam shook his head.

Liam was a handsome man, he was also very intimidating. He said what he felt, though not in a rude way, it still made a person feel like an idiot. He gave Ella a disapproving look, not intentionally of course.

"I'm not trying to justify or defend him. I just don't think he's as bad as you might believe him to be." Ella shrugged.

"Then why are you here?" Silvia was puzzled. "You say he isn't that bad but you're here. Something he's done has lead you to join this group. I don't care if you say he isn't a big jerk but I know deep down he's scarred you. Just look at you. You've barely made eye contact with any of us."

"Okay, Silvia. That's enough." Jan, their counselor, motioned stop with her hand. "We all have baggage. You can't pressure someone into revealing or letting go of theirs. Most of you have been here a while, so you've come out of your shells. Ella is new and therefore will  probably want to go through all of this slowly, at her own pace. Today was just for her to introduce herself. She doesn't need to go in depth about anything."

"Okay. Okay." Silvia put her hands up. "I'll back off."

"Sorry if I was too invasive, I guess." Liam smiled. He had the most perfect teeth Ella had ever seen.

"It's fine. This is nothing compared to what I go through at home." Ella's shoulders dropped as she sighed.

"Samuel." Jan wanted to get the attention away from Ella. "How are things going with you?"

"It's going good." Samuel blushed. "I got a new job, that pays me better. I can finally get out of that crappy apartment once I save up some money.

"And any word from Luis?" Jan raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no. Like I told you last time, I haven't heard from him in weeks. I think he has a new boyfriend and I'm so glad because I was so tired of all the text and calls."

"Didn't you change your number? Isn't that why they stopped?" Silvia stared at Samuel.

"Oh, yeah." Samuel laughed.

"Liam?" Jan said.

"I'm good, I guess. I haven't had any nightmares in about four days, which is a record." Liam spoke for the first time with frailty.

"That's good to hear. I'm so happy for you." Jan wrote some notes down on the clipboard she was holding. "Well, looks like it's time to say our goodbyes until next week."

"Already?" Samuel groaned. I have no life. I'm going to go back to that crappy apartment to cuddle my dying basil plant.

"Please tell me why you insist on buying plants and herbs just to have them die off under your care." Liam was amused.

"No. I watched some cooking shows and they used the herbs fresh. I thought I should just get the herbs in some soil and leave it in my kitchen all fancy like. Someone told me you don't need to water herbs too much." Samuel stated confidently.

"Samuel, you can't even cook!" Silvia bursted out laughing.

Ella took the opportunity to slip away without anyone noticing but Liam did. He waved faintly at her and she gave him a smile before leaving the room.

She knew Armando was home waiting for her. He'd probably already found some reason to fight with her. Tears filled her eyes as she walked to her car. She opened the car door and got it. "Please let him be in a good mood." She whispered. "Please."