I'm okay now but I remember a time when I wasn't. I remember me crying at lunch as people tried to calm me down but failed. I remember when after my surgery I was screaming In pain while using the bathroom. I remember me crying in the bathroom or in a practice room at school until someone found me and forced me to go to counseling. I remember complementing people as I cried my way to the counseling office. I remember yelling at those who would hug me randomly because I was afraid of being touched. I remember craving touch yet flinching every time I was offered it. I remember the unnoticed pain that I not only caused to some but that I experienced myself as well. I remember having so much in me to the point where my words were causing me to drown in the pool of darkness in which I created. I remember sitting alone during second semester at lunch even though I had friends because I would feel as if I wasn't accepted even if I was. I remember overthinking every little conversation I would have with any individual to the point where I would tell myself that the person hates me. I remember not eating or sleeping for days then showing up to school with a smile. I remember going home on the bus crying because I had held it in the entire day. I remember so much. But there not all bad. For example I remember going home smiling once I moved cause I had friends who would talk to me despite my anxiety. I remember being complemented and thanked for almost every kindness note I gave out. I remember happy crying because I got over my fear of touch and would hug anyone and everyone around me. I remember making friends who would legit force me to talk about my sadness because they knew it was better than holding it in. I remember those who despite not even being close friends possibly who would talk me through my problems and help me overcome them. I remember the Amount of people who were supporting me on my journey through my depression and anxiety and panic. I remember being able to give someone who didn't even struggle with my problems hope. remember being given hope. I remember feeling loved. I remember being able to see the light. I remember finally being okay
The end
