Sword Art Online: Isolation

Chapter 1: My Reality

For the past few years I have found myself attracted to the infinite worlds and possibilities that are unlocked by video games, although a book can have a similar effect of immersing the reader in a world of pure fabrication, a game can take it even further by directly involving you in the story to the point where reality is replaced by something that is truly more wondrous. There are people who use video games merely as a form of entertainment, to experience things that wouldn't occur in the real world and gain a little piece of joy to fill their normal, boring lives. This is understandable, as games can provide hours of thrilling tales that satisfy the player's sense of adventure that we all have somewhere deep within us. There are also players who compete within the gaming world and boast about their victories to an audience that is spread across the world, proving to everyone that they are the best and that they deserve recognition. As for me, I did not associate myself with either of these groups; I was not the type of person who played games for entertainment or achievement, I played games to escape the harshness of reality and to thrive in worlds where the monsters can be defeated.

The simple reason why I wanted to flee from reality was because to me it was the only way to escape the solitude that followed me like a shadow, a solitude that had formed itself as a result of a number of events throughout my life. The first event happened when I was very young, as I had to endure the experience of losing my mother to a harsh disease that could not be cured at the time. Even at a young age, I can remember going to see her in the hospital every day, and every time when I would leave in the evening she would tell me that everything was going to be alright with a smile on her face that emanated the kindness of my mother's heart. But when I think about it, I realise that is was just a lie, designed to stop me from worrying about my mother, but ultimately it made the pain of loss within me even stronger. After her passing I watched as the world around me fell apart and I saw how death had an everlasting effect on the people who were closest to my mother, even today I can still feel the pain of losing her, and I doubt that the pain will ever go away. Despite my own torment, however, I saw that it was my father who had been suffering the most. At first he acted as though nothing had happened and he continued with his life in his normal fashion, again I realised that this was another lie that had been created for to keep me happy. But at night I could hear the sound of him weeping through the walls of the house, as he mourned the loss of his beloved wife and blamed himself for her death, I never knew why he came to that conclusion, but it was because of that his sadness clung to him like a disease, a disease that he ended up treating with the bitter taste of alcohol. His drinking continued for several months and before I knew it, I could hardly recognised the man as my own father, he was only a creature of unhappiness, distress and self-loathing. When I had reached the age of 10 it was decided that I was to be taken out of my father's care and placed in the custody of my uncle so that I would be provided with a "normal childhood" and shielded from the drunken mess my father had become. However after everything that I had been through, a "normal childhood" was a task that ended up being easier said than done. On the day that I left home I took one last look at my father before I was taken away to my new home, I wanted to see the man who was happy with his life, but all I saw was a man with a look on his face that I can only describe as a mixture of hatred, depression and dread. 

Even though my own nationality was British my family had always lived in Japan for as long as I can remember, this was because my mother herself was Japanese and the three of us had moved there when I was only a few months old. Even with my half Japanese heritage I had inherited my father's looks, so I completely looked like a foreigner compared to the other children I knew growing up, making it a little difficult for me to make any friends. My new home with my uncle, his wife and son was in a town that was on the eastern coast of Japan, it was small, quiet and so isolated from what was going on in the outside world, it was like the whole town had been entombed in its own personal bubble, keeping the rest of the world out. I remember the day I first arrived and how I looked up at the house where I was going to be living starting that day, it was very large and imposing but I guess that's what everything looks like when you are small. But what I remember the most about that day was the cold and unnerving feeling that was crawling throughout my body, I had been taken away from my home and my parents had been taken away from me. Only now do I realise that this new feeling was my first experience of true isolation, the isolation that I came to hate and fear. But because of my age, I didn't realise what it was or how to understand it, it was just there like an unknown entity inhabiting my body. However, before I had a chance to think about what this new feeling was, it quickly vanished after I met the people who I had come to live with, my extended family. As the years rolled by the closest person I had for a friend was my older cousin Makoto, every day he would play with me and make me laugh so much that it seemed that being with him made the days go by a little faster and kept the isolation at bay, making it unnoticeable to me. He became my best friend and I ended up spending all of my time with him when we were at home together, I would occasionally see him at school, but he would keep to his own friends making it even more special when I had the chance to spend time with him. Unfortunately my companionship was not to last and by the time I was 13 I found myself alone again, my cousin had grown up and left home to live his life in the outside world, away from me. Without him to keep me company and my other relatives being busy with their own lives, the isolation started to creep its way back into my life. For what seemed like an eternity, I was stuck with this feeling inside my body, without any idea of how to remove it completely. It was only by luck that the feeling was warded off once again after I discovered the world of online gaming. I started playing online games after Makoto had told me about something he was working on at his new job; he had gone to work for a company named ARGUS, which was working on something that would revolutionise the gaming industry, or at least that's how Makoto would say it. Although I wasn't told much about what he was working on, when I did ask him he started to tell me about the vast world of video games and in particular, the game genre known as Massively Multiplayer Online, or MMO for short. Like a teacher and his student, he regaled to me about different worlds and monstrous creatures that look like they've emerged from the nightmares of children and how people would be thrown into these worlds to fight them and become stronger. As Makoto continued with his tale I found that the thing that interested me the most about online gaming, was when he told me about how players from around the world would meet each other and form friendships that went beyond the realm of the game itself. It was this that got me fully intrigued with online gaming and I thought that it was by playing these games that I might be able to escape my past and my solitude. 

My first experiences of online gaming were not as good as I would have wanted them to be as I had started to play some free games that I had downloaded from the internet, although most of the other players I encountered only criticised and laughed at me as I stumbled around the game with little knowledge and my lack of experience, making me a victim of the those who enjoyed tormenting the newer players for their own entertainment. However, even with all the ridicule I endured, I did meet others who taught the weaker players how to become stronger and no longer be the victims of others. I came to admire these people as they were the only ones in the online world who cared enough to help others. The first time I met one of these players was outside of a dungeon in a game called "Adventurer's Crusade" which I had actually gone and brought in order to play it, meaning that it was a bit more desirable than the free games I had previously played. He had found me lying on the floor near the dungeon's entrance after I had practically crawled my way out of the darkness that was filled with terrible and powerful creatures. After he had finished approaching me, I asked him what he wanted, in response he simply asked me "What are you doing down there? You should be in there, fighting". Although I had no idea what he actually looked like in reality, I made my own assumptions based on the voice that was speaking to me, I imagined him to be similar to my age or maybe a little bit older but that was all I could guess. "I was just in there, but nobody wants to help a newbie like me", I said, trying to hide my still cracking voice. As I waited for what I expected to be an obnoxious laugh and the soon departure of that player I instead heard a light chuckle followed by more dialogue from the stranger. "Well today's your lucky day my friend, I am more than happy to help you out". With excitement filling my core I eagerly accepted his help and together he entered the dungeon. "By the way", the stranger said, "my name's Pathik".And together we made our way through that perilous dungeon. After having so much fun fighting monsters, it wasn't until afterwards that I realised that I had actually made my first friend over the internet. Even though we were both complete strangers sat at computers, we had formed a friendship through a random meeting in an online game. Ever since our first meeting in "Adventurer's Crusade" we continued to play together across other games as well, we started to learn about each other and to me it started to feel as though he had been my friend for longer than the few months we had been playing together. Although I only ever heard his voice and saw his avatars across multiple games, I still thought of him as a close friend and I felt as though I could follow him to the end of the world, and that's what I ended up doing.