The Delacours

thirty-four.

                The next morning, the guys had gotten out of bed. I stayed with Val while slept. I could feel the baby kicking under my hand and couldn't help but smile. She was making noises in her sleep, but it didn't bother me. I turned over to grab my phone and check any messages but thankfully I had none. I turned back over and Val's sleeping glow was fading – she was waking up. She turned over to face me and slowly opened her eyes.

"Good morning, beautiful," I said, kissing her forehead.

"Good morning," she said, softly. She put a hand to her belly. She made a face. "Can you help me get up? I have to pee." I rushed to the other side of the bed and helped her out. She grabbed her robe and waddled over to the bathroom, and I laughed quietly to myself. I got dressed and headed downstairs. Zane was crushing herbs together into a pain managing balm for Val. I could see his hands glowing – the glow wasn't consistent, it was sputtering – and his hands were shaking. I came up behind him, and put my hands on his arms. He stopped moving.

"Are you okay?" I said softly, kissing his shoulder blade.

"It's the nerves. I've done this three times already." I looked over to the trash where there were piles of herbs overflowing. I made him put down the pestle and led him outside. "I have to finish this, Liz. What are we doing out here?"

"Sit." He reluctantly sat on the ground. "This isn't gonna work if your tense, Zane. I know you don't like magic, but it's a part of who you are. You need to get reconnected before you do this." I kneeled down behind him. I uncrossed his arms and intertwined his fingers with mine. I started to dig them into the dirt for him. I heard him take a hesitant deep breath. I could feel his heart racing. "What's wrong?"

"I think it's just the trauma of it all. I didn't get this kind of treatment when I needed to reconnect from Adriel... She would fucking bury me alive, forcing me to reconnect. I haven't done this in a long time."

"What about before Dylan's Alpha ceremony?"

"She hardly even used my energy... I didn't have much."

"Zane!" I said, concerned.

"I'm sorry. I told you. I don't want my magic."

"Do you want me to stop?" I asked, quietly, realizing he was crying.

"No... I need to do this, you're right." He sniffled and dried his tears on his shoulder. He dug his hands further into the dirt and picked up his feet, digging them in as well. I started to walk away from him, wanting to give him his privacy. "No. Stay..." I sat next to him, watching him. His face was scrunching up, and he was breathing heavily. I was worried he might have a panic attack. This continued for about two minutes. "Can you take my shirt off for me?" he asked, panting. I got up, ripped it open and pulled it off. He laid down on his back and let out a soft moan. He was starting to glow, but again, it was sputtering. I reached over to him, but decided I shouldn't touch him. Val was coming downstairs and saw us in the backyard. I rushed over to her.

"Is he okay?" she asked, quietly.

"He's trying to reconnect to the earth, but he's having a hard time... Adriel used to bury him alive. I don't know how to help him." Val nodded and walked over slowly. She knelt down next to him and put a hand on his chest.

"Zane, you need to take a deep breath. You're forcing this." His breathing was quick and his heart sounded like it was going to jump out of his chest.