New Traditions on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving

[Intro] lol

It seems today
That all you see
Is violence in movies
And sex on TV

But where are those good old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely?

Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

He's
Our
Family
Guuuy

-End-

[The house from outside, with the usual background music to it]

Meg, Chris, Stewie and Brian (-> sleeping on the couch) were watching some violent movie, while Stewie looked interested at the movie: "Hey Brian, this could be useful for me."

Brian woke up, looking at the TV: "...what are we watching?"

-

"Hm, hm, hm... ♪♫♪", Lois hummed, as she made the healthy pudding ready.

"What's this stench, Lois? Does Stewie need to be changed?"

-

Just as Peter had said that, there was an orphanage shown on the TV.

"Huh...", Stewie thought, as he saw this picture and after hearing Peter talk.

"Not a bad idea at all."

-

"No. I made a healthy pudding!"

But Peter didn't seem impressed: "Why, Lois? Why does it have to be a healthy one? That's like tossing the Thanksgiving turkey away and switching it for an alive one, because it's fresher!"

Lois glanced to the direction of the trash cans: "...actually, that's what I did. This holiday is going to be healthy! And I want all of you to join in, not like last time!"

[Cutscene to the one episode where Lois first wants Peter to eat healthy from this one episode I once saw:

Lois was making their dinner ready and got all of the plates on the table: "Hope you guys are ready for a healthy dinner! I went to Wholefoods today and got this recipe from an extremely thin man with a giant adams apple."

Stewie tried it and stated: "I hate that place. None of the cereals are advertised on TV!"

But Peter didn't look too happy... he critically eyed the strange looking food on his plate, on which normally only good food deserved its place there.
"What's that stuff that looks like sand?"

Lois replied: "It's Quinoa." and was proud of her cooking.

Peter pushed the plate away, disgusted by the sound of that name: "Nope! I don't eat food that's the sound like karate words!!!"]

"But Lois, you can't torture me like this on Thanksgiving!", Peter whined and threw his hands up in the air to demonstrate his dissapointment! "Oh, shut up, I can't stand you eating like a pig, we'll have a different meal this time!", Lois replied harshly. She had made things clear to Peter.

Suddenly, a frightened, puffed up turkey stumbled through the kitchen, flinging several drying dishes from the counter, quacking loudly around, flapping its wings violently-

"Ahhh, the turkey rose from the dead and is now going to grill us!", Peter went on his knees and began praying: "Forgive me, turkey jesus! I will never eat Lois' bad turkey on Thanksgiving again!"

"Peter, that's not turkey jesus, it's the turkey I got for us and which I wanted to cook differently this time."

"Stop it, Lois! Your bad cooking skills have upset him enough, you don't need to make him more angry!", Peter cried and hid under the table, saying his thoughts and prayers to god and the human jesus: "Hey, buddy, Jesus, I haven't always been the best christian, but is this how I deserve to be punished? I will go to church every Sunday from now on!"