Anita, a college student madly in love with Natasha, a fitness trainer and model but what happens when a suggestion from Natasha turns their world upside down, will Anita be able to overcome her insecurities and see past them or will she loose the o...
I have been sitting on this park bench for past thirty minutes, since I stormed out from Bunny's apartment, my mind is clouded with so many emotions that I am not able to decipher what I have done.
Was she really trying to rub my insecurities in my face or was it all in my head.
I am hundred percent sure that my parents will never in a million years accept me for who I am. Hell they are the reason me and my sibling never had real friends let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend. They think their over possessiveness is the way of showing their love to us, but truth to be told I always felt suffocated in that house.
When I somehow managed to convince my parents to let me join this college and live in hostel my mother's first words to me were "I don't want to see you falling into this trap of dating that you youngsters think is so cool, If I ever come to hear about a boy I swear to God, that will be your last day of college."
Little did she know that a boy will be least of her concerns.
I was confident that I'll never fall into the traps of dating as my mother likes to say, mainly because I've no interest in dating boys and I've no desire to come out to anyone to even try my luck at dating women. I thought that my resolve was strong, just keep smiling, make friends, get good grades and leave this place without any trouble and by trouble I mean dating a girl, but I guess my resolve was not that strong, one look at Natasha and I was a goner.
The memory of our first meeting made me smile a little, but then I dropped it quickly remembering the fight earlier.
My phone started ringing I ignored it without looking because I knew it was Natasha she has been calling me non-stop, after a while when it stopped ringing I received a message from her.
I know you need time to clear your head but please don't cut me off I am sorry if I hurt you please come back.
-Bunny 3:45 pm
But before I could do anything or even think of replying my phone started ringing again, Ryan was calling me, I wanted to ignore his call but then picked up at the last ring.
He asked me to come down to his house at 4, whatever he wanted to say felt important and urgent, I told him that I'll be a little late seeing as I was not in hostel.
I arrived at Ryan's place at 4:30, everyone from our friend circle was there, I took seat in the chair of Ryan's study table, ignoring his questions if I was okay or not, I know he could see the redness in my eyes but I just shrugged him off.
Next thing I know he is admitting his feelings towards Kanan, another guy.
Anger bubbled in my head and I left the room without a single word, I left Ryan's house as soon as possible, I speed walked towards the bus stop that was nearest to his house but before I could reach the bus stop, realization hit me.
I was not angry at Ryan or him liking a boy, I was not even angry at Natasha, I was angry at myself, I was angry at the way I treated the girl that I love the most and now not only I've hurt her I have also hurt one of my friends who trusted me enough to share his feelings with me.
I was angry that Ryan was confident enough of his feelings that he had the guts to share them with his friends, even though he has just known Kanan for a month or two, and here I am hurting the girl that I've been with for a year just to feel special among my friends.
I took a deep breath and leaned my back against the car that was parked by the road.
I need to apologize to Natasha, She has been so sweet to me since day one and what did I do, hurt her because I am way too insecure... No this stops now, I need to apologize to her and even though I am scared to come out to my parents, I need to come clear to my friends, maybe Natasha is right my friends won't judge me and if they do then I guess I am better off without them, I mean if you love me then you need to accept me the way I am.....I hope one day I have enough courage to confront my parents too...but for now I need to start with my friends.
I took out my phone and re-read the message that Nataha has sent me earlier, she has not called me once after the message, I know she is trying to give me space... God she is just too thoughtful and I love her for that.
First thing first I need to go back and apologize to Ryan for storming out, then I need to come clear to my friends and then I need to apologize to Natasha for my stupid behavior.
Does she hate me now? The mere thought of her hating me brought tears to my eyes again, I don't want to lose her because of my stupidity.
I started walking towards Ryan's house again, I stood at the door of his room which was slightly ajar, I guess nobody tried to close it after I left.
I stood there for a second contemplating what to say, how to enter after the way I left.
"Oh right where is Anita?" I heard sameer asking.
"She left when I told you guys about my feelings towards kanan" Ryan replied with a pained voice.
This might be the perfect time to announce my presence. As I opened the door further I saw Sameer consoling Ryan, then he said "Chill, she'll come around, by the way I don't think that she is homophobic."
"I am not" I said making everybody look at me, and when my eyes met Ryan's I couldn't stop the tears and when he asked me if I was okay I broke down further making him hug me tightly, I just cried, cried to let go of all the anger that I was carrying around, to let go the burden of hiding all the time.
When I calmed down slightly I looked at Ryan and said "I am lesbian."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
