Bringing the Nation's Husband Home II

XXV | The Notebook

"I was always curious and wanted to ask you about who you like..." Isabelle tried to appear curious, as though she was just being gossipy.

She thought that she looked relaxed, but deep inside, her heart was bleeding. She took several deep breaths inwardly, trying to control her emotions, allowing herself to seem nonchalant when saying the words that had sent her to tears multiple times. 'No matter who I like, it will never be you.'

Isabelle appeared calm, even curling her lips upwards into a small smile before lowering her lashes to shield her hurt and sorrow. She continued to joke with ease, "Don't you know how hurtful that was? I was just being curious, but you had actually said that.... Am I that bad?"

In that instance, Alexander was even more confused. That sentence wasn't part of any of his memories. He frowned, trying to recall what had happened five years ago, before they had grown apart.

At that time, they hadn't met for a few months and finally reunited in a gathering held by James. That time, he had just heard from James that he was going to marry Isabelle. It had been the worst moment of his life. He felt despair closing in on him and on the second night of the gathering, he didn't speak to Isabelle. He just kept drowning himself in alcohol. And at the end of the night, he dreamed that he had met her and had spoken to her.

Alexander could sense that what she was saying was from the night he was drunk. He sunk into silence for a long while before asking, "Was it five years ago on the night of James's gathering?"

"Yea," she replied faintly.

"That night, the girl I love had married someone else, so I wasn't in a good mood. I drank too much and mistook you for a hallucination..."

Hallucination... Isabelle didn't know how to explain her current emotion... She could barely breath. Her grasp on the blanket tightened, but she forced herself to react normally. "So on that night, you mistook me for the girl you love? You thought that she was the one asking you, that's why you said that?"

Alexander's lips pressed into a thin line, sadness creeping onto his face.

After a long while, he explained faintly, "That sentence wasn't for the girl I love, it was for myself."

So that's how it was.... That sentence was not meant for her, but the girl he loved wasn't her either... Isabelle's happiness was soon drowned by a layer of sadness. She struggled to keep the smile on her face.

"I really thought you meant it." She paused slightly before continuing, "But the girl you love must be blessed, having you love her for such a long time."

Alexander lifted his lips lightly, but he didn't speak. The entire room was so quiet that even the sparks of light from the candles could be heard. After a long while, Alexander finally spoke, but instead of replying to her, he called her lightly, "Izzy..."

Isabelle raised her head in confusion, looking up at him. "Huh?"

Alexander stared at her, his eyes a mixture of emotions. He wanted to tell her that she was the girl that he loved, but he was afraid that if it went wrong, they couldn't even be friends.

When someone has totally lost something, he never wants to return back to that stage. The five years without her was the worst time of his life and he never wanted to relive that again.

His heart was in a mess. After a long while, he finally cleared his throat. "You are worthy of love."

This was the first time that Alexander had praised her. Isabelle took a deep breath of his familiar scent, another sudden impulse forming in her mind. She really wanted to ask if she was really worthy of love. If she was worthy, then what about him? Why didn't he love her?