stardust & silk

J A N U A R Y.

i.

I'd always seen the start of the year as the beginning of something new; I'd never imagined that the start of something could ever have any negative connotations. Yet here I am as chips appear on my soul bringing with them the beginnings of a broken heart.

ii.

I don't know what it's like to be in love and I don't know what it's like to be enough for someone, I'm barely enough for myself at times. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not the reason your heart beats, that I'm not your everything - the cure to the loneliness that shrouds your heart, or the place your thoughts drift off to when you're in need of some rest. I'm sorry that I'm not enough; I thought I was at one point - that not even the oceans could keep us apart. But maybe I was wrong or maybe we were a masterpiece freshly painted on a wall only to have the rain wash us away before we could dry.

iii.

Don't look too closely into my eyes; I'm scared you'll see the truth. There's a part of me missing, has been throughout my youth.

iv.

So I hope you never forget the taste of my name on your tongue, as it fits against your lips whenever you're reminded of me.