Timing | colby brock

.2

|June 02, 2018|

Unrequited

— C O L B Y

"So?" Kat questions me as soon as I step off the last step. I squint my eyes against the harsh sun seeping in through the surrounding glass. She leans over the counter in the kitchen, popping a grape into her mouth from the handful in her palm as I walk to the fridge.

"What?" I ask as if I'm confused, hoping that she'll drop the topic altogether. Every time I see Kat she's asking about Cami; always wondering if I've messaged her or vice versa. I want to forget but it's too hard with constant reminders of her hidden throughout the house and in random spots we visited together, especially when Kat was constantly bringing her back into my mind.

"Cami! Have you guys talked?" She asks with a hint of hope in her tone. Every day she would ask if we've talked, and every day it was always the same answer. Camila Parks doesn't want anything to do with me. Why can't anyone grasp that? Why can't I understand it?

"Can you please stop fucking asking about her?" My tone is harsh. The sentence sounded as if I had been holding it in for too long, and I had. Kat's face turned from a hopeful smile to an intense frown quickly. A deep sigh escaped me and I placed my palms on the counter, leaning my weight onto them and looking down to avoid her intense gaze. "I'm sorry." I say quietly, looking up to meet her eyes. She smiles softly and walks around the island to place a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much she really hurt you. I'll stop asking." She mutters, pulling me into a side hug. As if to lighten the mood she ruffles my already messy hair with a laugh, and I push her away playfully. Sam soon came down the stairs to take her wherever they were planning to go for the day. All of the other roommates were out, so the house was soon consumed in an uncomfortable silence.

I climbed the stairs to my room tiredly, dreading what I knew I would see when I arrived. My door creaked open and my mess of a room was soon revealed to me. A movement from my left drew my attention to the sleeping figure under the blankets, a mass of blonde hair covering the pillows. I sigh deeply and grab a tee shirt and running shoes out of the closet. Hopefully the girl, Amanda I think, will be gone by the time I get back from a run. Running is something I've been doing a lot recently as a way to clear my mind and relieve stress that meaningless hookups never cure.

A nice breeze blows my hair back off of my forehead, but it doesn't help in cooling the intense heat. I start off on a slow jog until I'm running so fast my lungs feel as though they're shrinking into nothing. My legs begin to burn but I push through it. All thoughts leave my mind as I focus on my breathing. In and out.

I dart across the road in front of a car who doesn't care to show their unhappiness by laying on their horn. They zoom past me and I shake my head without a care. I slow long enough to pull my shirt over my head, picking up my pace quickly as I hold it in my hand. Sam's familiar white Audi passes by in a blur. I figure that if they're already back then I must have been gone longer than I thought, so I dart across the street once again and begin heading back in the direction of the house. Sam and Kat are both exiting the car when I arrive back to the driveway, both giving me odd stares as I walk through the gate panting and sweaty.

"Since when do you run?" Sam asks with his eyebrows furrowed. I only shrug in response while wiping the sweat from my face with my shirt. Usually it's unnecessarily early when I decide to run. When I check the time I'm slightly surprised to see that I had been running for almost an hour. The time now read half past one and as if right on cue my stomach began to growl.

To my luck, my bedroom was empty when I arrived. A little note was left on my side table and written on a random sticky note from my wall with a dull pencil. I came to find out that her name was not Amanda, but Annalise, not that I really cared. I was never going to see her again. Without a second thought I crumble the note and toss it into the overflowing trash bin next to my desk. I hear Sam and Kat walk into his room and shut the door, so I connected my music to a speaker and turned it up loudly enough to where I couldn't hear them and hopped into a warm shower.

After my shower I head downstairs with my laptop and headphones to edit while waiting on my food to arrive. Every now and then a roommate would come home or leave, or film around the house. I ended up binging on youtube videos instead of editing my own. My videos are always late so it's nothing new for me to procrastinate editing. A recommended video pops up, Cami's face displayed with her perfect smile in the thumbnail. Though I wish I could ignore it, I click the link anyway and settle further into the couch.

"Hey guys! Camila here," Her familiar voice fills my ears and I can't help but mirror her smile. "I'm here with my two lovely roommates, Bri and Nic, and today we're going to be cooking for you guys! There's no way this is going to end well." The sound of her laugh tugs at my heart. I know I should move on but it's so hard. I loved her. Hell, I still do.

I glance over to my phone longingly before picking it up and scrolling through until I reach her contact. After typing a message similar to the dozens I've left before, I hesitate slightly before pressing send. I know she won't respond, but I still hold on to that slight hope. It's all I have.

this is hella sad wow sorry dudes

xoxo JEN