Stronger

It's a normal Tuesday evening. You just returned from a soccer game full of excited energy, scoring two goals during the game gained you a cheer from the team and a fist bump from the coach. You feel great. As you run up the driveway, your dad shouts that dinner's almost ready, but you have to get showered before you eat. You hurry through the motions, it's hard to pay attention to everything else when you're buzzing with energy.

After what feels like forever, you finally sit down at the dinner table and start blurting out your story. The game had had a rough start, the other team was really good. They scored a goal in the first five minutes and your teammates were feeling down in the dumps. But you started running extra fast, sprinting after the ball and stealing it away from the other team. You pass it to Jake and run ahead while he shoots it, but the goalie dives and it bounces back from his hands.

As you're telling your story, you notice your sister sitting quietly, not eating her food, looking a bit lost. That's weird. She's a year younger than you and loves asking questions. You love telling her your stories because she always asks you the right questions at the right time, it makes you feel special. Mmm, weird. Maybe she just didn't like what dad cooked for dinner.

You're too excited to stop though, you continue your story. A sprint and a sidestep later and you have the ball again, you're running towards the goal, the other team close behind. It's an almost perfect shot, you load your leg back, ready to kick the ball perfectly in and-

You notice your sister shivering, tears stream quietly down her face. You immediately stop, something feels really wrong. Your dad hadn't noticed but he follows your look and immediately asks her what's wrong, putting his hand over hers. She recoils to his touch and starts sobbing, she doesn't seem able to contain her quiet tears anymore. There's a pit in your stomach and all energy drains out of you, your hands feel numb. Something's really wrong. You say her name concerned but she loudly pushes her chair back and runs out of the room. Your dad gives you a concerned look and mouths I'm sorry bud before sprinting after her, shouting her name. You're alone.

You weren't able to eat the rest of your dinner, your appetite had gone missing, replaced by a nagging feeling in your stomach. You can't really recognize the feeling, but you don't like it. Your dad has been talking to her for the past half hour, behind the closed door of her room. The emptiness in your stomach grows, you can't stand it anymore. Silently, you tiptoe to the edge of her door, straining to hear something, anything.

Your heart drops to the floor as you listen to her trembling words between sniffles. You're confused, your stomach is churning. You feel your body getting hot, heat rises through your chest all the way to your ears. Your hands tingle, you realize you're clenching them, your nails digging into your palm. You're angry. No, you're furious. Your thoughts scream inside your head as you walk back to your room and slam the door. You bury your head in your pillow, your body is trembling. You want to shout. You want to hurt. How can someone do that. Who would ever do that. Your blood boils as anger courses through your body. Time passes without you noticing, your thoughts won't shut up. Angry guilt, sadness, remorse course through your body as you start crying, tears soak your pillow. You sob and shake.

What if I had been there? What can I even do right now? I can't do anything. I'm powerless. If only I had been there. Why. I don't get it. I hate him. I want to hurt him. What could I have done?

Little by little, your body stops shaking, your tremors go away. You feel empty, exhausted. You fall asleep without noticing, but it's not restful sleep. You dream that your sister is falling into the deep end of a pool and you're trying to reach her but you're just not moving fast enough. The world around bogs you down with heavy darkness. Every step you take seems to make the distance between you larger, you reach out your hand to grasp the empty air. She's too far.

You feel a presence shadow your dream and wake up startled. Your dad came into your room.

"Hey bud, you okay? I'm sorry we left suddenly..." -he starts. He notices your eyes, bloodshot from crying, staring blankly at him.

"Ah, you overheard us". Your eyes swell up again but you rub them and push back the tears. He sits next to you and hugs you.

"Is she okay?" -you hear yourself ask, your voice scratchy from crying. You swallow.

"She will be, she's a strong one your sister" -your dad's voice is tired, the words are almost whispered, exhausted.

"I want to hurt him" -you say. Your words tremble with anger.

"Me too, bud. But hurting someone won't help your sister. Being there for her will." He pauses.

"There are bad people in this world. People that don't care when they hurt and take advantage of others. He's one of them. It's not okay to touch other people without their consent. It's not okay to make comments that make young girls uncomfortable, that make anyone uncomfortable. It's not okay to abuse the trust that people have on you. I'm angry that I didn't realize sooner, I didn't protect her sooner, I couldn't do anything sooner. It's valid to feel angry and guilty and sad. But we can't let these emotions take over us. Thank God nothing else happened and they caught him and fired him. There's nothing left to do but to be there for your sister. Show her love and respect and kindness. I know you wouldn't do anything like that, but sadly there are a lot of men out there that don't even realize it's wrong. It's up to us to show them how to respect and treat others."

He pauses, you feel his eyes searching your face for emotions. You try to hide them, but anger and confusion still mask your expression.

"We can talk more about all of this later, there's a lot I want to explain to you. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed but I want you to know that you can ask anything and say anything to me. She's going to be okay though. Right now, she wants everything to be normal. She doesn't want to feel the guilt or pain or for us to look at her differently. Can you help me with that?"

Your dad pauses and looks at you with kindness in his eyes. Emotions still swirl within you, but you know what you have to do. You nod and look away.

---

You hear your son excitedly finish telling his sister the story about his game. She gasps with awe and asks him questions, her words stronger by the minute. You smile with pride.