The Big Run-Off (Holden Burke #1)

Fourteen

I stopped my car and gave Anthony a gentle push; he woke sluggishly, his limbs delicate and his eyelids slit apart, until he looked out out the window and sat quickly upright.

'What—where are we?'

'Come on,' I said. 'Let's get inside.'

My legs had been drained of their use. I hobbled around the car as if on two wooden pegs and helped Anthony out of the seat and up the stairs as he attempted to rub the endless sleep from his eyes.

I took him through the front door of my flat and let him collapse into the nearest sofa. I was busy letting as much fresh air into my lungs as I could, before I heard a sound move forward from the direction of the hallway. My heart briefly skipped and a bubble of air was caught in my throat.

'Holden...?'

'Jake—'

I coughed it out.

Jake stood in the arch of the hallway with a sudden and disordered look on his face. Anthony shot his head up—I raised a hand to indicate to all parties that it was alright.

I moved to Jake and took him by the hands. 'What are you doing here?'

'I...I was just—I came home. You weren't here, I just thought I'd wait...'

I tried to say something else before I noticed him peering over my shoulder at the subdued shape of Anthony Ramsey across the room.

'Is that...'

'My case.'

Jake looked back at me. 'What's going on, Holden?'

I shook my head. 'It's too much to explain. Listen, Jake—' I waited for the right combination of words to string themselves together in my head. When they didn't, I tightened my lips and did nothing but dive in: 'I need you to do me a favour. I know I don't deserve anything from you, especially now, but this is important. Extremely important.'

I took a breath. Jake was still looking at me, the glow slowly draining from his eyes as they shaded into despondency.

'His name is Anthony,' I said. 'I need you to take him, and I need you to stay with him at your mum's place. Just for a little while, while I get everything figured out.'

Jake's mouth was parted. He shook his head in useless confusion. 'I don't understand, Holden...'

'Please. It's too big a risk keeping him here. But he'll be safe with you.'

'Are there people after him?'

I paused. 'No. But there could be, if we don't find somewhere to keep him safe for the time being. I would never hurt you, Jake. But it's the best option right now. Maybe the only one.'

Jake stepped away from me and wandered across the room with his head lowered. I leant against the wall to give respite to my legs.

'What am I supposed to tell mum?' he said.

I thought for a moment. 'Just tell her he's one of my nephews, or cousins, or something. He's in town for a few days, but it's a bad time and I don't have any space right now. Please, Jake.'

He was still silent. I went over to him and put my arms around him, and laid my head against his shoulder. Weakly, he put his arms around me as well.

'I know you put up with a lot from me,' I said to him faintly. 'I know this is just something else on the laundry list. But I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.'

I gave a gentle kiss against his cheek.

There was a long moment of the two of us together in the middle of our flat, holding each other, and feeling almost as if we were together again. Almost—the image was right, but everything else was wrong. We both knew that the feeling of love that would usually be stuck between us in a moment like that had been replaced then by one of tension and desperation, and I wondered if we would ever have our love back. If I would ever be lucky enough.

Then Jake inhaled and slowly released me, and stood back as he continued to look toward the floor. 'I'll just...I'll pack my things again, then,' he said, and disappeared down the hallway, into our bedroom.

I put my hand over my forehead and shut my eyes. Anthony was making an attempt to be as unobtrusive as possible, hugging his knee up against his chest and sitting in as frozen a silence as he could. I sat near him and watched the floor. Neither of us said anything, doing nothing but listening to the faint movements of Jake in the other room, until Anthony said, quietly, 'You two are really cute.'

I tried to smile, but no one could see it.

'How long have you been together?'

'A long time. A very long time.'

'And—he's the one who...'

'Yes.'

Anthony quieted himself again.

After a minute or two, Jake came back into the room with a canvas bag under his arm. I motioned for Anthony to stand, and he did.

The two of them looked awkwardly at each other before Jake came over to me and, to my surprise, leant down to kiss me gently on the lips.

I put my hand on his cheek. He put his hand over mine. We looked at each other. 'I'll call you when this is all over. It won't be long. I promise.'

'Okay, Holden.'

'I love you, Jake.'

'I love you, too.'

He stood up again and went out the door. Anthony, standing silently in the corner and looking strangely enough like an uncomfortable child watching his parents separate, looked at me for a moment to say something. Nothing came out. Instead, I put my hand out and we shook briefly. He tried to move his lips into a tired goodbye smile, then followed Jake out the door and down the outer staircase.

I went to the window and listened to Jake's car come alive and vanish down the street.

My flat was empty again.