dim as an ember

Chapter Two: the Neva flows

Yelena was awakened by the sound of the window being opened, and with a jump, she looked up, noticing Anastasia was looking out, into the Neva. Its waters were raging, furious, but somehow, not loud. A quiet fury, the surface revealing the truth of its depths - it would drag people down, drowning and freezing whoever fell into it. Anastasia, who observed it, seemed much the same, as if the Neva reflected her anger: not a river, but a mirror.

"Anya?" She called, voice groggy with sleep, looking around. It was dark, inside and out, only the moon illuminating them. Anastasia looked like a ghost, and a shiver passed through her spine.In a way, she was one.

"Hi. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up, Yelena." The Neva outside was heavy, she noticed; rising (and noticing Dimitri had disappeared somewhere, as usual), she joined Anastasia, looking outside. "The room was a bit stuffy."

"I see." Yelena replied, and looked at Anastasia, whose blue-grey eyes looked back. "You worried all of us, today. Are you alright?"

"Yes, it's just..." She stopped, biting her lower lip. "Today. I heard that truck backfiring - and while I knew it was a truck, I saw something else."

What Anastasia was about to say veered into dangerous territory, Yelena knew. And yet, she couldn't stop herself from asking.

"Something else?" Yelena asked, dread settling in cold in her stomach.

Anastasia, unaware of Yelena's feelings, struggled to remember something.

"A gun, I think, and by my side there was someone, and we... I don't know, I don't know!" She was frustrated, hands going through her hair, as if trying to stimulate herself to remember what she couldn't. "But I know it was important. I know that, whoever that was with me that night, was someone who cared for me, and I wonder if they are looking for me. What if they are, Lena?"

The person (persons) Anastasia was talking about - eyes filled with hope, child-like and innocent - was dead. Her family were all skeletons.

"Anya, I hate to tell you this, but they left you to die in the side of a road. If someone was with you, that night, I didn't see them there." She lied through her teeth, and Anastasia deflated. Automatically, barely thinking, she put Anastasia's hands on her own. "I know you want to know more about the past you don't remember, Anya, but it'll only bring you pain."

Anya looked out, and Yelena felt cruel, like a cat playing with a half-dead mouse instead of ending its suffering.

"Is this because..." Yelena started, knowing she would end up regretting the words that would come out of her mouth. "Is it because of the girl in Berlin?"

"The impostor, you mean?" Anastasia corrected, so sure, and yet. She paused, thinking for a moment, and nodded. "Yes. If only I could talk with... I don't know, maybe Anastasia has an aunt or an uncle or something... But if I could talk with them..."

This was her cue, wasn't it? This was were Yelena should play puppet master, slowly inch Anastasia close to the realization she could go to Berlin, speak with Olga and Xenia Alexandrovna, and notice that the real Anastasia was herself.

"You can. You'd have to flee this country, but..." Yelena said, the words spilling out of her mouth as she saw fire coming back to Anastasia's eyes. "But you can, most definitely, go to Berlin."

She would - Yelena knew this, truth soaring and rising in her heart. Anastasia would leave to Berlin, never to come back, and Yelena would stay in Leningrad, alone and brokenhearted. Her eyes diverted to the Neva outside, peaceful in the moonlight.

"We can go." Anastasia said, and Yelena's eyes whipped to her, staring incredulous. "I never thought about leaving either you or Russia, but I most definitely can leave Russia with you."