Why Is That Funny?

What?

"HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE!
"Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS FINISHED?"

My obnoxiously loud alarm clock spitting out Dreams and Nightmares by Meek Mills. I need something loud to wake me up, so I thought of that song. Bad idea. I honestly hate myself sometimes.

I got up and followed my routine. I put on some underwear (yes I sleep in the nude) and some blue jeans and my basketball jersey under my green hoodie so I can just take off my hoodie later during practice. After finally choosing some nice blue Jordan's sneakers I crept my way downstairs with my book bag hoping dad wasn't making breakfast.

Of course after I got to the front door I heard my father yell from the kitchen

"Tad, Come and get some breakfast!"

I moped into the kitchen to see my father with a plate full of burnt pancakes and my mom glancing at me while sipping her coffee.

"Where is Daniel?", I quietly asked my mom.

"He managed to get out before your dad even started cooking." She whispers back to me with her coffee cup close to her face and her short curly hair bouncing as she snickered.

"What was that?", my father asked turning from the refrigerator.

"Why aren't you eating?", I asked my mom.

"I'm not hungry."

"Neither am I.", I began to walk out and my mom cleared her throat.

I turned around and slowly walked towards the brown chalk on a plate. I grabbed one and it was still in a flat stance. What kinda pancake isn't floppy? This has to be poison. I bit into it like s cookie. Disgusting. I looked back at my mom to see if I could leave. Her eyes said "If you leave, you die."

I ran the fastest I have ever ran out of that house.

When I arrived to school, the lot was filled. Then I saw my freshman little brother and his disgusting little baby dreads on his head. I ran up to him like a tsunami.

"Why would you leave me with dad and his frozen mud?!"

"I wanted to see if you ended up in the hospital getting your stomach pumped!", he courageously shouted as I had my fists squeezing at his dreaded hair. He was obviously being tough for his little friends.

All of the sudden I felt pink nail polishes fingers pull me in the school. Talia. My love. She is my best friend. I can't work up the courage to ask her out. I guess that's why I'm such a man whore. To replace the love that Talia has not given yet. Her beautiful, long, straight, red hair. Big blue eyes. And her soft voice. She is perfection. Not to mention the nicest person ever. I would say that my current depressed mood is because of her, but I can tell it isn't.

"Why are you so mean to your own brother?"

"That bastard left me with my dad's cooking this morning!"

"Oh! I'm so sorry. Are you okay? Let me feel your heartbeat.", she said jokingly. All my friends know about my dad's horrible cooking. One time he packed me peanut butter and jelly. When I unpacked it, it was going in an up down motion like it was breathing.

I laughed off her joke and we split up to our separate lockers. My locker was next to the girls bathroom. One of the reasons I'm so good at picking up so many girls. Hey I see you in the back! Calling me a slut! I'm not a slut, just experienced!

When I got to my home room, I went in the back of the class as Mrs. Dassfire began to talk. I looked over to my left, across the room, see my ex best friend from elementary sketching in his little book. Looked like flowers. Dammit. Almost every time I see Jace I think he is a girl. I mean, his hair is really long. It down to his upper back. He also has really pretty green eyes. No homo. I'm full straight.

After fifth grade, we grew apart. He began to start cheerleading and came out. Everyone loved his boldness. He didn't seem to like the popularity life. He was still friends with all the popular people, but at legs length. He has long legs.

All of the sudden I saw his sparkling emerald eyes looking back at me. I didn't stop looking. Neither did he. It was weird. Then the bell rang.

The rest of the day was dull. Lunch is the only thing I like about school hours. Free food and sitting with my friends.

"Hey guys!", squeals Jackie. The Barbie of our school. Co-caption of the cheer squad along with Jace. Also my on and off girlfriend. Don't you just hate drunk nights? They can lead to such bad things in the future.

"Bring it down about three noches perky Peggy.", said Lee. My fellow basketball team member. He said he is tall for an Asian. (A/N My actual Asian friend said that about himself. Lee is based off him. Don't attack me). We only met because we met at the top stair of popularity. I don't regret it. He is the best. He is top of most his classes and is very faithful to his girlfriend. Surprising right? He is really attractive too.

"Don't be mean babe.", Jazmine said softly to Lee. Jazmine is the school's Oprah or Bill Gates. She runs half the school clubs, is student body president, and is really pretty too. Long, butt length hair and cinnamon eyes. Also my cousin.

"He was mean last night in bed.", said Chad. He is the captain of the football team and is a total meathead. He is so lovable though.

Along with Talia, we are the dream team of school. One of us is what everyone in school wanted to be. I'm not saying I don't like it, but it is getting boring. Maybe some better friends? Nah I'm good. Am I?

"Don't do that Chad. You know I went to cutlery camp. I will feed you food and you won't even know half of it is rat poison."

"Food is food."

I began to block out the pointless conversations as I looked to the school quire to see Talia singing along with them. Her voice is amazing. Mariah Carey and John Legend must be her parents.

Then I saw a glint of an emerald flash at the side of my eye. I looked over to see Jace sitting with his one friend he chooses to have. Her name is Maria. She isn't overweight but she is bullied for it. She is just really curvy. But since everyone in this school is used to thin waists and C-cup boobs, she is an "outcast". She is also Hispanic and short neck length hair with icy blue eyes. She is really pretty actually. But she wears big sweaters to hide her "fat". Too bad.

Later after basketball practice I saw Jace, Jackie and the rest of the cheer squad practicing for our game next week. They were practicing in the grass. Jackie said it makes it harder to focus because grass is slippery. It's to help them become more balanced I guess. When they saw us walking out, they stopped practicing. They began to pack up their stuff. I saw Jackie pull a lollipop out of literally no where and start sucking on it while winking at me and walking off school property.

Then I saw Jace. I saw him practicing before the squad noticed us. It makes me wonder how a guy can be so flexible. He can do clean splits and land a flip like breathing. I give him props. I suddenly had an urge to walk up to him.

"Hey, Jay. I haven't talked to you in a while Since like eighth grade right?"

"Leave me alone, asshole", he spat at me and walked off.

What?