Dear Goodbye

Dear Mom

I'm sorry for dad.
I am sorry for all the times he put his filthy, piece of garbage hands on you.
I am sorry that you always had to protect us from his rage by taking the blows.
I am sorry I wasn't old enough to help you.
I am sorry that your mother wasn't a better support system.
I'm sorry for all the lies he told you, I'm sorry for all the manipulative shit he did to you, I'm sorry for all the sorrow he caused you.
I am sorry for all the times I was bratty and didn't understand just how bad you had it.
It became normal to me after a while, all of the dysfunction in our family.
I am sorry I couldn't do better, be better.
I'm sorry that your depression led you to substance abuse.
I'm sorry you lost all 11 of us kids.
I'm sorry that rather than help you, the state just took us from you.
I'm sorry for the kids being adopted.
I wish I could've prevented it.
I'm sorry some of the kids don't know the truth and loathe you for "abandoning" them even though that's not the case.
I'm sorry I couldn't be a better daughter.