In The Driver's Seat

A Note on The Airbags and Darkened Windows

To anyone who ever thinks the one in the drivers seat doesn't really care about you much,
or doesn't like you,
or doesn't trust you...
that somehow these extra airbags and darkened windows are a thing against you or that you have to do certain things to get close, you don't.
You're fine.

If you do need to do anything, really, it's just...
give them a minute.
They've been through some stuff--it's not you.
They may be scared of you but it's not because you've done anything,
you haven't! You've been nice and kind and interesting and they... they just...

They don't have anything against you, they're like a nervous dog sniffing you out.
They need to get to know you enough before they relax, before they calm down.
It seems like a bit much, sure,
or like you have to pass some test,
or an interrogation....

From the person in the drivers seat,
I'm sorry about this.
Not because it's my fault, it's not,
but for the part where you feel like you have to do certain things to gain approval.
Give me some time, I've been through a bit.
If it seems like there are bumps and scratches on the car, you're right, there are.
Save your pity for later, though,
if you have some sympathy so be it but deep breath,
I've got a hold on the wheel and there are others that are kind to me.
Ain't no need for pity,
I've got friends and family who love me,
I am not alone and I am no longer aching or crying myself to sleep in the darkness.

I'm sorry that you feel like you have to do certain things,
I'm sorry if it ever feels like an interrogation--I know what it's like to feel like you're being interrogated and I don't like it either.
I'm sorry if it ever seems like I don't like or care for you, I can reassure you it's not for lack of heart, it's just because of fear.
I'm in the drivers seat now, though, and I'm working on making sure the dents and scratches don't affect how the car functions anymore.
The fact is I probably like you and wish to get to know you better,
but I'm not sure what to do.
I don't know where to start the conversation, how, where one would begin or end.

So about the airbags and darkened windows,
I'm sorry they startle you,
but I'm working on adjusting them.
It turns out they're a bit more bad than good for me,
and as the person in the drivers seat,
I'd like to be able to relax.