Good Girl

Double

I went home that night having been satisfied multiple times. Ryan looked angry when I got home. "Why do you look like you're glowing? You were gone for a while." He said avoiding eye contact. "I'm pregnant, I'm glowing. Noah fought sleep and I offered to help get him to sleep for my dad. I didn't want him to cry for him all night. It's not like he had to take him." I said nervously.

"Come on, Steph! Don't be stupid, you know damn well that creep has eyes for you. He's your fucking stepdad! What a perv!" Ryan said rolling his eyes. "That doesn't mean I'd do anything with him. Besides I'm pregnant with your baby's." I said nervously. "I don't know if I buy that." He said walking away. I felt awful. I went to bed that night early. I laid down and after briefly being asleep, I felt Ryan lay down beside me. He apologized as he began to rub my belly and my breasts.

I fell asleep uninterested in anything sexual with Ryan at this point. I asked Brad if he would go to the doctors with me so I could get a paternity test without Ryan knowing. At least knowing the baby's are Brads I'd feel better leaving Ryan. It was crazy to find out but I had to.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the doctor walked back in. "I'm sorry to tell you but the baby's don't share genetic makeup to Brad." He said looking at the paper as he handed it to me. How the hell could this be?! I got home and asked Ryan how he thought I was pregnant with twins when he was hardly expected to ever get me pregnant.

Ryan looked down. "I don't know. Why are you asking me?" He asked. "Did you take something?" I asked him just looking for answers. "I didn't want to have to tell you." He said looking at me. "Yeah, I got something from the doctor." He confessed. Fuck. All I could think to myself was I was stuck. Ryan didn't understand why I was so upset and I didn't expect him to.

I got up and went to bed I felt completely awful with myself for cheating especially taking a big step backwards into the lust I felt for Brad, the lust that didn't go away no matter how bad I wanted it to. To have a normal life, I decided to do my best to put that part of my life in the past but that's easier said than done.

Sharing a child with someone you love should be celebrated but in this case it never would be so I had to let that go. I got my phone out and casually texted Brad, "Are you up?" I waited for a while, hoping maybe he'd be able to talk, after an hour with no reply I let myself slip into that sleep only pregnancy provides. The uncomfortable yet oh so longed for sleep.

Ryan slept on the couch that night knowing full well I was mad. I got up and before saying a word to him, got myself in the car and headed over to pick up Noah. Brad was still asleep as I knocked on the door, finally finding my old key in my bag. I walked in and ran into Brads room. Thankfully Noah had begun sleeping in what was once my old room. I climbed into his bed and cuddled up close.