As the orange sky of the gloomy afternoon slowly turns into grey, I suddenly felt an enormous thirst for a large warm latte. It's been hours I am driving on an unknown way. There's only desert in both of my sides. Before today, I never saw a desert. And after driving within this for a long time, I finally ended up being confused.
A desert has a very pathetic look. If you keep looking at the desert for a long time, you will find that there is really nothing to see, but still you are looking. May be you are looking for an answer. You have so many questions in your life, and a desert really doesn't mind to know them.
The tired looking cactuses kept asking me, " Aren't you exhausted ?" Being exhausted is never been an option for me. Bearing a tired soul has become my present. I sighed and stopped my car by the roadside, suddenly I feel like smiling. But my smile feels so dry these days. There's really no people who wants to see my smile. When you are the only person to care for your smile, doesn't it make you pitiful?
" I am lonely. Too much."
The cactus giggled a little, " It's the reason you are in Las Vegas. What are you doing beside this dead desert? Desert is for dead souls, you are still alive." " Am I really ?"
I felt a little vibration in my pocket. My shiny mobile has something for me.
" I really don't care where the hell you are. But show me your face on Tuesday Morning. Before 10am "
It's from my Grandma.
My Grandma doesn't like it when I call her granny. Illena Woods, one of the richest business ladies in California, is my Mom's mother. I am only allowed to address her Mrs Woods.
"Okay. See you then." My reply doesn't have the audacity to make her wait.
I swallowed my breath. I am thirsty. It's lucky that the need of love can be filled by a warm latte.
Latte is cheaper, easy to get. Love ? No.
Now all I need to move my body to a café. That's it.
As I got my precious latte in my hand, I felt like living more, at least one more night. Yes that's how I am dependent on Latte.
I let me wandering around and as a result, I found me inside a Casino. I took a seat and had my first sip. The little latte in my mouth started awakening my dumb brain cells. Yes my sense started to get back.
I wonder why I keep coming in casino. I never felt any urge to play. All I do is fooling around. The smoky dazzling mode never touched me, neither the laughing noise irritates me, but still I like being here. I like watching people, may be the silly people. People are so excited to make them cheap, to make them easier to destroy. And I, an over-destroyed human being, enjoy watching people to get destroyed. Am I sick ? who cares. If anybody cared, would there be any chance for me to get sick ?
"Interesting" I heard the voice just the moment the word was said. But I pretended not to hear.
The guy had a tall shadow fallen on the floor. I was looking at it. I saw the shadow getting smaller, well, is he sitting beside me?
"Never saw any girl drinking coffee inside a casino " "Never saw any guy wearing pajama inside a casino " "I am taking it in a good way" I giggled, " we always take things the way we want. It doesn't matter." "Frustrated ?" "Do I look like ?" "Not really. You smell like latte. Good though, It's just your eyes, showing no feelings."
I turned my face towards the man. Before I judged his face, I saw a smirk. I couldn't remember, from when I have a thing for smirks. This man got a really good one.
I smiled. My eyes were still on him. "You are tired." " No, it's just my smile makes me look tired."
The man passed his fingers through his hair.
"A girl drinks Latte in Casino." " Are you really that surprised? Come on, I know I look silly."
"Sexy. It looks sexy on you."
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His stare was intense. Why should a guy in pajamas stare like that in a casino, to someone as silly as me ? I don't know but suddenly I felt so sad. I felt so sad that I got scared it might turn my skin to deep blue.
I hated it because the man saw my eyes. If he just saw it, it's okay, but he read me.
Unknowingly I bit my lips to hide the sobbing coming from my soul . I was ready to leave, but he stopped me. I saw his lips getting closer, taking my lower lips under his control. His hand was slowing grabbing my neck. My body let him arrest me.
The chill of kisses or lust in veins – I didn't feel any of it. But I felt a deep sorrow pressing in my heart. A wave of tear started to overflow me. As we were in between a kiss which was definitely from other world, my tears didn't stop for a moment.
