Concealed Affections

5| The Fear of Rejection

Chapter-5 :

Meera Rao :

I am still in shock, standing there expressionless like a log.

"Meera! Why aren't you talking?
I know this shocks you a lot but please respond something, Meera." He pleaded.

I was speechless because of three reasons,
1. This is my first proposal from someone,
2. That too from my classmate whom I didn't know properly and 3. He used the term 'fear of rejection' to which I am strongly related.
But, yeah! I have already decided on the answer, but scared to reveal it.

"Meera, I asked you something and you are still quiet. Please say something." He pleaded in a worried tone.

"Rishi, the thing is I am sorry Rishi I am not at all interested in this love, relationships, or commitments, and at this phase of my life, I want to concentrate on my career. Hope you understand and am sorry once again." I explained although I felt bad for him.

I'm helpless!

"Everyone wants to concentrate on their careers now. I promise I'll never become an obstacle in your career as I want to support you in everything in your life." He said with politeness reflecting in his eyes.

Wow! He is so honest and supportive but I can't accept him!

"That's so kind of you. But I don't know anything about you except your name and also I am not interested in this at all. Better you change your mind. I am sorry." I said sternly.

"I know we don't know each other properly, for that, we can start getting to know each other by hanging out and meeting often so don't worry about that. There are so many ways to overcome that.
And since you are saying that you are not interested, please give me one chance and you will not regret it. Please!" His eyes showed desperation.

Oh, God! He is so genuine and I am going to be unfortunate to miss him but what can I do, I already have someone in my life, and I can't cheat Rishi by giving him false hopes.

"You are not getting it, Rishi! Yeah, we can meet, we can know each other but my decision isn't going to change, because I am not interested in all these things. We can be as good friends but THIS isn't going to happen. Please excuse me!" I admitted with a sad face as I felt pain saying those words.

"Please, please, please! Don't do this to me, Meera. I am sure you will understand my love once we start to know each other." He is in tears now.

God! I am feeling guilty for hurting him now, but I can't cheat him by giving him fake promises!

Soon, he held my hands, with teary eyes.

"Please give me one chance, Meera! Please!" He is shaking my hands now.

"Why can't you understand Rishi You are not getting it. I can't give you fake promises by nodding now. I don't like this at all. Please understand, that it's better to end this Rishi as it's good for your mental health. Now, please let me go!" I screamed brushing his hands away from me harshly.

I am going rude, but it's necessary!

Suddenly, His teary eyes transformed into glistening red eyes oozing rage.

"You are such a heartless soul, Meera, I never expected this from you. I thought you would understand me, and would give me a chance but are stubborn, rude, and impassive. This is my four-year dream to propose to you but you just broke it and turned it into a nightmare." He shouted with a flushed face, still rolling down with tears, looking scared, saying, "I hate myself for loving you, choosing you, dreaming about you, and hoping for you. I just have seen the reality of you.
Being bounded by the 'fear of rejection', I secretly loved you and never expressed anything not just to you but to anyone. When I finally crossed such a huge barrier, compiled the courage, and confessed my feelings to you, you just made it vain and turned it into a nightmare.
But don't worry, I am not that person, who still hangs to the girls despite their rejection, by losing my self-respect. After this day, you will not see this face again. GOODBYE FOREVER and thanks for teaching such a great lesson!" He screamed his heart out joining his hands and started walking away.

All of a sudden, he turned back again and said, "I pray to God and hope that you also experience the same fear of rejection in your life as me. And I just hope that you too get rejected by the love of your life and face the same pain, that I am experiencing now, It is my strong desire, you can count it as a curse and I want it to happen!" He smirked full of hatred spreading over his face and departed.

Those words of him, that curse are still ringing in my ears!
He just doesn't know that I am already facing the fear of rejection but his curse is killing me inside. Tears started rolling down my face, I slowly knelt, placing my hands on my head and weeping loudly!

I spent there weeping for a few minutes and then finally decided to go, wiped my tears, stood up, and started walking back towards the venue and there my friends were staring at me confused.

"What happened, Meer? All okay? We have seen Rishi here, he saw us with utter anger and left despite calling him. What happened?" Shre asked with concern.

That's got me remembering the incident again and I felt irritated.

"Nothing important guys! He proposed to me and I rejected him. That's it!" I said controlling my tears.

"What! He proposed to you and you rejected it? That's fine but why are you looking dull with bulged eyes?
Did he say something to you after your rejection?" Vicky asked.

"Nothing like that guys, why are you asking it again, leave it for now." I chided with annoyance.

"Why are you getting serious? What happened, Meer?" Shre asked placing her hand on my shoulder.

"Can't you understand? Why are you guys asking again and again? Please leave this matter for God's sake!" I shrieked releasing myself from her grip.

They exchanged clueless glances with one another, and murmured something, but still looked perplexed.

"Now will you guys have any thoughts to leave for home with me or shall I go alone?" I asked angrily.

"No, no, we are also coming..Let's go together." They said in unison.

And then we left in a cab. When I reached my home, I got out of the cab and Shre called me and I turned around.

"Whatever happened, just forget it and take care of yourself." She said.

"Bye! Good night." I replied and left.

"Hi, Sweety! How is your day?" Mom asked with a smile.

"It's good, Mom! I am so tired, I'll go and rest! And yeah, when is Dad going to return?" I asked weakly.

"Tomorrow, Sweety! But what about dinner?" Mom asked.

"Fine! Had already in the party!" I squeaked, barging into my room, got in, locked, occupied my bed in haste, and sat down recollecting the whole conversation with Rishi which automatically made me cry again!

Suddenly, I started reminiscing about him.

Author's Note :

Hello all...
So, How is the chapter guys...
Whom did you support? Meera or Rishi?
Did you like the way Meera reacted to his proposal?

And yes, the past is going to be narrated in the next chapter, the details about the hero...
And his connection with Meera and some turning points in the story, yes!!!...

Stay connected with the story...

Please vote if you like the story.