Concealed Affections

6| To the Time Where it Started

Chapter-6 :

Meera Rao :

Seven years ago, when my family and I were living in another city but not the current city, I was studying in the tenth grade at that time.

We lived in a street that was nearer to my school and that's when I saw him first in the neighborhood. Harsha Kumar, one year older than me, was studying plus one in the nearby college!

Every day, I used to observe him, actually staring at him secretly whenever he came out of the house to go to college. Since my school and his college were on the same route, we both walked in the same way with him forward to me and I at his back, or maybe in a reverse manner sometimes.

Time passed and our families slowly drew close, regularly visiting one another, and going out together.

He has a younger sister named, Urmi of my age, both studied in the same school. So, he used to accompany his sister to school. Since Urmi and I became good friends, I used to join them.

Don't know what made me stare at him, giggle at him, think about him, and smile at him secretly, it felt like a magical spell on me! If anyone asks what's the reason for admiring him, I have no reason to say. It started as a crush and grew deeper to the extent, that I started missing him whenever he disappeared and would worry about him.

Maybe because of his love towards his sister, his respect towards his parents, or being responsible towards his family and most importantly his eyes and smile. I love them.

He was decently handsome, charming with his mesmerizing brown eyes, moderately built body, tall with the nerdy look, and of course his cute dimples!

I never tried to show my bravery by talking to him, because I was a coward and I admired him secretly. Also, he was never interested in talking to me either. He even talks less with his sister, so basically it's his nature, so I doubt him knowing about my existence!

We completed our tenth grade, were promoted to plus one, and joined the same college where he was studying. So, we three would go together every day but he never looked at me, stayed silent, and I was glad to have the company of Urmi at least.
Ufff..How boring he was!

Our families connected very quickly and I was happy about that. We both completed our plus and were promoted further but yeah, Urmi and I were enrolled in different courses but same college.

When he topped his plus two examinations, I was amused and pleased for him, the best part was he was not like me, an average student.

I went a few times to his home, his Mom and Dad were kind, and had a good time with them. I never tried to talk to him, maybe because of fear or maybe due to the strict parenting, or don't know what it was, just happy to watch him secretly, admiring him from afar and thinking about him.

Urmi and I became good friends, she was so lovely and easy to mingle with. I completed the plus two with a decent percentage as did Urmi while he started to graduate. They held an Annual day celebration in our college for which old students were also allowed.

So, I was excited to meet him and wished to talk to him but it didn't happen. But alas! A magical moment took place, which I'll never forget.

As usual, we three went together to the college and he departed with his friends. Then Urmi and I enjoyed ourselves together and she separated to meet her friends after.

At that time, Harsha came searching for his sister and talked to me which was unbelievable for me.

"Hello! Where is Urmi? She has been with you for so long, right?" He asked with a poker face but that stunned me.

For a minute, I didn't know what just happened as if it was a dream! I was on cloud nine, distracted and surprised by his words to me, but finally came to my senses and replied.

"Yeah! She was gone to meet her friends. She must be on her way back."

"Okay, fine!" He said and waited there for her return, beside me in a silent ambiance.

When she returned, we three went back to our homes and that was one memorable moment with him.

I was in my home for so long time as it was the holiday season, he and his family went on a vacation which I got to know from Mom and Dad's conversation and I was already missing him.

But then, what had happened made me farther away from him. My Dad who works as a Government employee has got the transfer orders to get moved to our current city! He already got this earlier which he denied but now it's necessary and emergency to move on to the new city which my dad couldn't oppose.
So suddenly, in three days, we vacated and moved to our current city.

Till the last minute, I was waiting for his arrival, expecting to see him one last time. But no, it was all sudden, and to my misfortune, we didn't even have their Dad's phone number. Even my parents wished to see them once and to intimate them, but fate didn't allow us to do so. Afterward, we thought of meeting them so many times but it never happened. And that's how we settled in the current city.

With all my suppressed feelings, with my secret affection, and with my disastrous mind state, I managed to put a fake smile in front of my parents.

Thus, I got parted from him physically but not mentally and emotionally.

Still, I can remember his first conversation with me whenever I close my eyes, his facial expressions when smiling, his gestures, his voice, and his mesmerizing eyes glancing at me, that's a very special moment for me that can't be lived again.

I know I sound so weird, so unreasonable, so lame, so weak, so silly and so illogical. It's disgusting to think about a man who doesn't even acknowledge my existence.

But what to do? These are the emotions, that can't be resisted or avoided, and can only be hidden.

But now I am going to decide for my life. It's been long-suffering and I will try to put an end. Yeah! I will try because I am not sure that I can pull it off. Though it never troubled me in my career, it's emotionally killing me from inside. It's my foolishness to think about him so I will try to deviate by getting busy in my own life.

After all, if fate permits, I wish to meet him one last time in my life again.

Author's Note :

So, this was where it all started...

Will her decision work?

Can she be able to deviate from his thoughts?

And will her wish get fulfilled?

Find out in the coming chapters...

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