Just a little white lie here and there isn't doing any harm. I wasn't suppose to hurt anyone.No one was supposed to be inside. My world is crumbling apart but the truth can't come out.Not now,not yet anyway.
A lie can't follow you to another country but mine seemed to. In the odd silences, the ticking of the clock turned into his voice. I felt his footsteps beside me when i was alone. I felt his breath at the back of my neck.
He loved me, I loved him not. He was sick. He was twisted. He hurt me. I cried. Josh and I had been together for 8 months. He was perfect on the outside. A typical gentlemen. He treated me as a lady for a while before he was broken.
We had met in a park. He was one of those good boys then. He kept himself to himself. Never cared what anyone thought of him because he knew he was strong, he knew he was better. I guess you could say I changed him. A girl who thinks she's too prestigious dosen't deserve a man. Dosen't deserve love. I didn't deserve him. I purposly tripped him up as he skated by, to embarass him to be honest. For amusement purposes really. When he landed on me. He was actually really sweet. He kept apologising, complaining about how clumsy he was. He offered to buy me an icecream, to say sorry for embarrassing me and i accepted. I guess things just went on from there.
On our first date he told me he had an smartness policy. "No drugs, No Alcohol" he said. I laughed. Everywhere you go in this country theres someone doing drugs or taking part in some sort of madness. All the boys my age that I knew were taking part in something stupid. I knew he couldn't be different, but he assured. He said he loved me and would protect me but that didnt last for long.
We didn't meet up again for the whole summer. He went on holiday and well I guess i was busy terrorising my little siblings you could say.Those were the days when we were happy together; in some weird way got along together. After the holidays, my little sister Sasha was due to start school. I took her shopping for school uniform. I described to her how big all the kids above were going to be. Then I cuddled her, told her everything was going to be alright because I was there. I was going to look after her. Make sure everything was going to be okay.
My younger brother Peter, was about to start a new school. It was unbelievable really. Every single day he always has an argument with Sasha. It was never about anything serious or logical as well. He's only 11 yet he thinks he's some sort of player or pimp. He hasn't even a girlfriend yet. Mum didn't want him to come to my school because she thinks that a school which teaches a child till they're 18 is dodgy and she also thinks the boys that go my school are 'naughty'. She hasn't even meet any of them. Anyways he ended up going to the same school as Josh, so thats how they met each other.
My mum was one of those woman who tried their best to make sure their child took part in every school trip even if we couldn't afford it she still found a way.
So thats why I admire my mum. Everything i seem to do goes against her and her values. Shes the only person that understood me and tried to help me but i kept pushing her away. I didn't want to embarass her no matter what but I seem to do that everyday now.
