A Life So Hard (boyxboy)

01. All I Know

                                   Picture: Jamie Wise as Giovanii

                                  Song: The A-Team by Ed Sheeran

 

Chapter one

All I Know

 

Entry #209

Dear Journal,

They say you write what you know.

This is hard for me because what I have mostly known is pain, and it makes for tough reading let alone writing.

This journal or whatever it's called, is partly my way of working my way through the wreckage of my past, preasent, and most likely my future.

Through all my hardships are two questions that plagued me.....

1. What choices do you really have in the face of a world of hurt?

and....

2. Can those choices set you free?

- Gio

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It was getting dark. Early evening, and the city was sparkling with lights. The temperature was dropping along with the sun. Cars passed by slowly, creeping to a stop every now and then, each driver looking but never approaching me. People walking and laughing lost in their own universe.

I learned back against the wall of a building on the street corner. Trying to keep them from falling off I breathed into my hands, which I cupped over my mouth and promptly blew hot air into them, rubbing them together.

I had on low riding, denim jeans. A patchy, light blue thin sweater. And I wore a tight black v-neck shirt on underneath the open jacket, and light brown boots. I was attempting to look promiscuous with one of my hands in the pocket of my pants. But it was proving harder to do as the temperature continued to drop.

I sighed deeply as my eyes scanned my surroundings.

This was the public squalor rundown section of the city. A more colorful word would be ghetto or slum. There were drug dealers, junkies, pimps, and hookers on every corner. The alleys were dark and housed the homeless and anyone who needed a frequent hit of cocaine or meth. The police and ambulance sirens could be heard up and down many streets. This was what society had to offer to the low income families. This was reality in more ways then one. This was my reality.

A old battered, dark blue car pulled up along side me. Like always I hesitated a moment before leaning down to peer inside the open car window. The guy was nearly bald and what little hair he did posess on his head looked greasy. He looked like a fuckin' ogre and thats putting it nicely.

"You a whore?" The gruff voice asked.

I flinched. That word disgusted me with a passion. It wasn't like I would pick to do this for a living as a day job. My life was hell before this became my only option. Now that i'm in this line of work, i'm stuck. If I want a roof over my head, money to pay the bills, and food to eat, then this is my only option.

I prefer to be called mabe something along the lines of a 'streetwalker'.

Plus this was all I knew how to do. It's what I did best.