Aligning the Forgotten ✓

Chapter 44: Roux

Clutching the piece of tattered, folded parchment in the palm of my hand, I stand on the forecastle deck of the ship and watch as the ocean spreads out before us. I won't look back to the land we're vacating, the woods stretching beyond to block the miles of empty land and a battlefield that others won't return to. No one wants to be there anymore.

As many soldiers as we could fit reside on the ship with us, including three out of the five remaining from the group we met with that night to discuss a battle plan. The note holds only a few of the answers I actually need about why Takata didn't want to come back to Esaria. All she left was a note on my pillow, saying she needed to find herself before she found a home, and no one in the camp could place what direction she left in.

She took her belongings and left nothing behind. As all horses were accounted for, she didn't take one with her. Somewhere, across the empty stretch of land, Takata is finding her way home. Whether she'll reside in a ghost land or head back to one of the kingdoms, she didn't specify. Wherever she is, I hope she finds what she's looking for.

After all soldiers were healed, death counts were tallied, and everyone got a much-needed full night of rest, we began our journey to the docks. I didn't feel completely myself, my power was still wakening inside me, and there was nothing I could do to speed the process along, especially not if I was moving at a fast rate. I slept when I could, usually on Binx's shoulder when we stopped to rest, and dragged my feet all the way across the empty land and to the docks.

Our next destination is Esaria. When we first arrived at the Edogrith Battlefield, I didn't think I'd return to the kingdom I've called my home since birth. I was, and still am, completely ready to give my life for the king and his cause—only to come out of it victorious. We'll bring the news back to the strong witches of the kingdom and provide them with an answer as to why we left. We won the war—for them. And in return, they will prevail, and provide us with the strongest in this world, from soldiers, to fighters, to men and women willing to sacrifice everything to serve their king.

Esaria is stronger today because of their sacrifices on and off the battlefield. We won't be burdened by enemies any longer and, if the king wasn't feared enough by neighboring kingdoms or lands stretched so far away I don't know their names, he will be now. The world will understand that the king of Esaria, carrying the Marron bloodline, deserves nothing less than to watch his loyal citizens bow.

Wearing a leather jerkin, I allow my new tattoo to breathe in the sun. My skin is warmed, my body is somewhat rested, and I feel at peace. More than I have in a long time. It's all been leading to this, and we can go back to the kingdom without a worry. We're bringing a win for our people.

I stare at the royal emblem on the back of my hand. The black ink glitters in the sunlight and matches well with the ocean spreading beyond our battleship. Heavy steps find their way up the stairs and I recognize them, not to belong to the king, but Binx. He appears at my side, staring out at the ocean. His face appears older than when we first met like he's aged tremendously since we first laid eyes on each other in the throne room. That seems like years ago, but it was merely a matter of months.

"It's not over yet," he says by way of greeting.

I mumble a 'hmm' underneath my breath. The warmth of the sun brings out my exhaustion, my eyes growing heavy.

"We still have to administer potions to the hundreds of soldiers arriving to the kingdom." I watch him out of the corner of my eye, he turns to look at me, but I don't bother acknowledging his gaze. He's been staring at me like that, more and more lately, but I haven't asked him the reasoning behind it. "After that, it won't be over either."

Everything on the list, one thing after the other, is only a new adventure to involve ourselves in. "We'll do what we do best," I say. "We'll stand by our king's side and do as he asks. It's gotten us this far, I think it's wise to keep going."

"Do you ever..." he begins, his voice trailing off. When I finally meet his stare, he forces himself not to look away. "Do you ever question your loyalty?"

I shake my head immediately. "Not for a second. I remember little about the past...it's gone, but I think it's supposed to be that way. Memories only make it harder to take another step forward and find a bright path to the future."

"What about your family? Don't you miss them?" His voice is soft, so quiet I nearly miss his question. But the drawing in of his brows says enough, sympathy flashes in the plum shade of his eyes, and it stays there. Unlike most that disappear shortly after appearance.

I can't remember the faces of my parents. I can see their outline, the stocky frame of my father and the dainty curves my mother carried so well. But that's it. Celestine...she's merely my sister and someone I look to for guidance. We've lost our close connection over recent months, but she's still blood. I'd do anything to protect what I have left of my family, yet I can't step in the way of the king if he decides she's not worth keeping around anymore. I must obey him, and only him.

He is my true family. The king's guidance will take me farther than anyone else ever will.

I swallow down my nerves and say, "Everything happens as it should, Binx. My family is merely a chapter in my life, and eventually...that chapter has to end." I taste the words but don't find the guilt accompanying them as I should. There's...nothing. No emotion.

"Well, what about our chapter? Does that have to end, too?"

I turn to face him. He doesn't shrink away when I place my hand against the side of his face and press my palm onto the warm skin of his cheek. "Everything has to end, someday. But if you're worried about surviving, just know I'll always go before you. No one, not even you, gets to die before me. I put my life on that."

Binx schools his features into neutrality. "That's not how it's supposed to go." Gently, he takes my wrist and forces my hand back down to my side. "You're not supposed to worry about dying. You're not supposed to be so prepared for it."

I completely disagree. "If that's my fate—"

"It's not," Binx interrupts. Like the snap of two fingers, the tone of his voice shifts to a hard surface. I can't break through his many layers, and once he recognizes the hurt in my face, he forces himself to step back. After a firm breath, he allows himself to calm. "That's not your fate."

I don't bother arguing with him. We'll get nowhere when we're on two completely different sides. Binx is set in his ways, as am I, so there's no point in attempting to get him to change his reasoning.

"My life is mine to live," I say once the tension drops. "As is yours. We will have different paths, but there's one thing binding us."

Before I can tell him what it is, Binx nods. "The king."

I smile, looping my arm around his waist. He wasn't injured in the battle; I don't have to be wary of wounds, so I don't resist leaning into him. My exhaustion proves to require support. His arm drapes around my shoulder and he presses his cheek to the top of my head, his warm breath tickling my scalp.

We stand on the deck together and stare out at the endless expanse of ocean. Neither of us knows what will come next, but we don't waste our chances by being angry towards each other. Life is too short for that, I won't risk losing him as a friend because of a foolish disagreement. Binx means more than that; he means more to me than he'll ever know.