In a Maze...

Chapter 10

Mark insisted on cleaning the table and doing the dishes, while asking Jinyoung to wait for him in the living-room. They had just had the dinner and the night was falling.

Jinyoung had also got a lot better but Mark chose to spend this night as well, here. When he had finished everything he had to in the kitchen, he made coffee and brought the two coffee-filled cups to the living-room.

Jinyoung was staring at the outside, through the window, when Mark came in. But later, he was seated on the sofa, opposite Mark, with the coffee cup in his hand.

"What do you usually do when you're alone?" asked Mark, sipping his coffee.

"Nothing in particular," Jinyoung said, "But sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts and lose track of time. It seems my brain works too much."

Mark thought for a moment and said, "I think, it's partly the reason why you can't sleep sometimes. It's difficult to sleep when your brain is too active."

"Maybe," Jinyoung mused, "But it's not the only reason. You're right, it's only partly."

"So you know why you can't sleep. But you said to me that there was no reason."

Jinyoung shook his head slowly, "Because you don't need to know. Actually, you're the only one who knows that I sometimes have sleepless nights. I've told no one about that."

"Not even your parents?" Mark asked, with his eyebrows raised.

It took Jinyoung a moment to answer that question. "It's complicated. You won't understand."

"But if I want to?" Mark prodded him but Jinyoung made no reply, "Just saying. I'm not going to force you if you don't want to talk about that."

"It's always you who inquires after me," Jinyoung said, "But you never talk about yourself. Whether you still have your parents, live alone, or are married and have kids, I've no idea. And the things you like and dislike."

Mark let out a chuckle at Jinyoung's words, "I never thought you'd be interested in my life. It's pretty much simple. Firstly, I don't have my parents anymore. And yes, I live alone. And no, I'm not married. But to list the things I like and dislike would take the whole night."

"What'd you be doing if you weren't a detective?"

"Hm, I never gave thought to that," Mark said, "I took ciminal justice and I was pretty sure I'd become a police officer or detective. I'd taken a physical training course, for a few months. It's necessary if you intend to be a police officer. So just like that, I just followed the path where everything had already been planned out."

"Do you think we'd have met if you weren't a detective?" asked Jinyoung, thinking of his own answer to it.

"We might or might not, that's difficult to answer. But for sure, if we did, it'd be on a different occasion."

Jinyoung stared at his coffee cup and brought it to his lips, to sip it, before putting the cup down on the table. He then looked at Mark and seemed to be going to say something but pursed his lips instead.

Mark felt desperate to know what was running in Jinyoung's mind but Jinyoung eventually said, "If it was on a different occasion, I might be someone more than a suspect in your eyes. But then you wouldn't be as interested in me as you are now. I don't know which is better."

Mark did not understand why those words provoked both elation and frustration in him, at the same time. He wanted to blame someone or something but did not know, who or what.

"You can be more than a suspect even now, in my eyes, Jinyoung," Mark said, fixing his eyes on Jinyoung, "But I need to know the truth. I want to trust you."

"That's impossible," Jinyoung muttered, his eyes staring down at the floor.

"Just the opposite. You can tell me the truth, Jinyoung," Mark paused, taking in a long breath, "Did you kill those people?"

Jinyoung looked at him, indifferently, "As if you would believe me if I say no."

"I told you I want to trust you. Look at me in the eyes and answer me, yes or no."

Jinyoung shook his head, "It won't do anything different."

Mark was still waiting for his answer and his eyes were encouraging Jinyoung to open up. Several seconds passed and Jinyoung seemed to get uncomfortable.

"Alright, if you-"

"I didn't," Jinyoung uttered, his eyes turning away right afterwards.

Silence ensued and Jinyoung kept his head downwards, hiding his face in his hands. Mark let out a quiet sigh and then got up off the sofa. He went to Jinyoung and took hold of his head, before pressing it against his stomach. And he patted Jinyoung on the back, soothingly, in a comforting gesture.

"It must be so hard for you, I understand. And I believe you, Jinyoung."

Mark could not imagine how Jinyoung would be feeling, if he was really innocent, especially when the whole public had this firm opinion that he was the culprit and the police detectives were keeping an eye on him. At that moment, Mark felt nothing stronger than the desire to prove what Jinyoung had said was true, to everyone else.

Mark detached himself from Jinyoung and got back to his seat. Jinyoung ran his hand over his face and straightened himself, perhaps to regain his composure.

"Why do you look so lonely, Jinyoung? It'll be better if you consider life more enjoyable. You know, this way of living makes you more suspicious in people's eyes."

"How should I answer this question?" Jinyoung said, "Why do I look lonely? It's because I'm really lonely. I've lost thrill of life since long time ago. Maybe, it started when my mother passed away. But what I'm sure, is it all got worse when my father remarried to another woman. I was just a temperamental teenager, back then. My father was ignorant of whatever I was going through and I got sour over that fact. I had no friends, either. Later I moved out of the house but nothing really got better anyway. If anything, I just felt more miserable and lonely. But I chose this way and kept telling myself that I wouldn't back off. And I've nightmares, so often so that it terrifies me when to sleep. You want to know the reason? That's it. It's become a habit. I'm always running alone in the absolute darkness, in those dreams. I don't know where I'm running but I'm frightened by an unknown factor. Too complicated, my life's just too complicated."

Mark felt more than sorry to hear Jinyoung's words. He felt like he was willing to do anything that would make Jinyoung feel better. That was when he fell into his pensive thoughts.