§♥One Direction Imagines♥§

Goodbye

Goodbye

H/N = His name

H/E/C = His eye color

Play "Good-bye" by Avril Lavigne as you read this it's above or on the side Enjoy!

        He sits there on the couch watching me stare outside of the apartment as his fuck buddy leaves with a satisfied smile. His face is straight with no emotions showing how he feels. Again I don't say anything but swallow the lump forming in my throat. Every time it happens both of us pretend like nothing happened because I have faith that he loves me but he's just too blind.

        I feel h/e/c on me and I stayed curled up on the seal of the window. I play with my fingers and glance at the hallway that leads to mine and H/N's room. I stand up and he does the same, he tries to talk to me and I brush him away and stepped into my room having him stay behind. "You're not leaving me, Y/n." He blocks the doorway and I groan, leaving my already packed luggage on the floor. "Stop with this bull crap! You and I know, we don't have a healthy relationship." He says nothing and stays at the door, eyes fixed on the floor.

        "We both know that you want her, she's better than me in bed and everyday situations." I rambled on and I stop when H/N looked up at me with teary eyes. "That's not true-" "But it is, H/N. She comes every other day when I'm at work. She leaves when I'm on the way. What the fuck!" My voice was loud yet under control. He only looked at me and looked away afterwards. "I deserve to leave and have a life on my own." I said grabbing clean clothes that's on my chair and walked into the bathroom.

        I faintly heard him say, "I love you." Before I closed the door, locking it I slid down with my hand over my lips as I weep. He can't say it just like it was like an everyday thing. He knocked a girl and says that he loves me. The moment I found out about his adultery I tried to leave but he kept me in his grip. My mind told me to leave but my body couldn't do it. I know it wasn't because of the money, I have plenty saved up with the tips I get at work. I don't know how long I was in the shower but i was sure as hell that out there some ruckus was being made and it was ruining my moment alone. All i wanted to do was to drown myself in the water that was falling above me.

        When I heard a huge crash I immediately stood up and turned the water off. I wrapped my hair in its towel and my body with another one that's a bit bigger. I dried myself off and slipped on my panties and bra and grabbed my pink rode that's on the hook. In the room I tossed my dirty clothes and slipped on my slippers and made my way to the kitchen where I was certain the noise came from. When I saw H/N and the broken plates, he gasped and tried to hide his bleeding hand. I rushed to his side with no emotion and gently grabbed his hand. 

        I feel his eyes on me, while I rinsed his hand with cool water and I tugged him to the bedroom. I sit him down on the toilet and bent down to get the first aid kit. I turned around to meet H/N's gaze and I focused on his deep cut. I'm between his legs, cleaning his cut with alcohol and he hissed and pulled away from my grip. I reach back and held it firmly and grabbed the needle. "This may hurt." I speak for the first time and he looks away. The second the needle touched his skin, he groaned and flinched back.

        I took two years of nursing school but never finished because of H/N's schedule and money but it served me well. Once closing the cut up I cleaned the area up and placed the kit back, when I turned around he was standing close to me. I step to the side and his arms stopped me with a hug. I didn't move or say anything, my arms are down by my sides. His hugs feels so distance and not warm, like whatever he did was nothing to me anymore but I'm conflicted with three parts of me: my heart, my mind and my body. My heart goes crazy when his skin touches mine, my mind is telling me to leave but my body is numb, I can't control it.

        Out of the blue I cling onto him and cry out as his arms wraps me closer to his warm chest. I ball my hands in his shirt making loud sobbing noise and he kept quiet. I finally broke down, my walls crumbled down only because he hugged me and my feelings escaped from me. I started to mumble incoherent words under my breath as he carried me to the room and laid me on the bed. He walks to my closet and grabs my sweats and his over sized t-shirt. I was still weeping as he untied my robe and dressed me. He undresses and pulls a basketball shorts up and pulled the covers up.

        "Y/N, I-I, I'm sorry and you probably won't accept my apologize but I want you to know that you are the best thing ever happen to me. I know I fucked up so many times but I want you to know that you're the only woman besides my mum, that my heart belongs too. And if you leave any moment because it was you that wanted it too, just remember that you're the reason I smile, the reason that I evaluate life more. Thank you for the great amount of patience you've given me when I know as hell that I didn't deserve it and your for unconditionally love. I love you and no matter what you choose I'll respect it." Through out saying it his voice was shakey and small. I know he meant everything he said but I can't ever be the same with him because he cheated even though I knew about it and that killed my self-esteem.

        I wipe my tears away and sniffled. I looked where my luggage is at and I stand up. I grabbed it and got a sweater. He's letting me go. His eyes are red again and he stands up. "So this is goodbye, forever?" All I could do was nod my head slowly. "I love you too." I mouthed and walked past him. He follows me as I walked to the door.

        I'm no longer restrained from my doubts.