Expectations

part#8

"I think," well I'm not exactly sure but, " I think Jake was just too afraid to let you go. "

"He said that?" I ask bewildered.

" Not exactly but it was implied. You see, after we had made arrangements for me and you to meet again he had found out that I would have to pick up and leave as quickly as possible because of my business. Then he just backed out for no reason. He said that he had gotten a "better offer" from Vincent and he would call me if anything changed. But the thing is that Vincent's business doesn't make half as much money as mine, so I knew that I could win you by upping my offer. Jake wouldn't let me though, he had made up something pathetic like, "Vincent is a good man, and he would treat you well." That's when I just assumed that Jake had a problem with me taking you across the globe. " He stoped talking and waited for me to give a response.

I couldn't think of what to say. Surely Jake wasn't actually stupid enough to think that Vincent was good for me and why would he turn down a higher offer. I thought that money was what he was after.

"Then, he wanted me to stay with him but I couldn't because the authorities would find out." I look down at the ground.

" I'm sorry it had to be this way Amara. " He grabs my hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

"Why does it have to be this way Anders? I mean what's so bad about loving someone? We have emotions for a reason. Why is it the worst thing to feel them?"

" It's the law. " he replies

"But it shouldn't be. People can't control their feelings, it's just not possible."

" Amara, stop speaking ludicrously, you're scaring me. "

"I'm being serious. The government is insane! Absolutely bonkers! Why have I not realized this before. We as the people could change things if we really wanted. We just have to be brave enough."

" Amara stop! " he looked me in the eyes with such coldness, it made me want to shy away into the shadows and disappear.

"I advise that you stop talking like this immediately."

" is that a command? " I say feeling hurt.

"I believe it is."

" Fine. "

"Lets head back. This was a mistake, I'm sorry it happened." He lets go of my hand and starts back up the hill. I follow far behind.

                                 •        •         •

Sitting on the bed, I stare out the moonlit window and think. I think of beautiful things. Of happy things. Marvellous days. Of chips. Now I'm thinking about him. About how nice he was. Now I'm thinking about me being underneath his command, the one thing I was trying not to think about.

Now all I can think about is sleep. How soft the silk covers are, the fluffy pillow. How squishy the mattress is. You haven't even eaten dinner yet, I tell myself. I don't feel like eating dinner with Anders the other half of my says. The next thing I know is that I'm out cold, still in my clothes and my shoes.

"Amara?" I hear him say from somewhere in the room.

" Hmm? "

"Amara, are you sleeping? We haven't even eaten dinner yet."

" not hungry. " is all I say before I doze out again.

"Amara, you're still in your clothes."

" ... "

" ... "

I feel my heels being slipped off of my feet. Relief from the pain immediately settles.