Fire Back on Your Tongue

Chapter X

Ryan was laying on the couch in the living room, pretending to read a book he couldn't focus on. He'd read the same paragraph at least twelve times, and he hadn't absorbed any of it. He let out an annoyed sigh, placing the book on his chest and looking down the hall to where the music was coming from. 

Without ever discussing it, all of them had brought instruments to the cabin. It was meant to be a vacation, but it seemed none of them wanted a vacation from the music. Maybe just from the stress and the concert atmosphere. 

It had been easy to break the news of their trip to the owner of the bar. He'd said he already had other acts lined up to take their place, which neither of them had felt was reassuring. He and Jon had driven up separately in Jon's car, since the amount of luggage everyone had packed made it unlikely that that they could have all fit in one car with any amount of comfort being had. 

Upon arrival that morning, Ryan had immediately hidden in his room, claiming he wanted to take a nap. If he was being forced to be here against Brendon's will, he'd at least do his best to stay out of the other man's way. It turned out Brendon was paying for the rental, and as annoyed as he was that the guy was acting so childish in ignoring him, he didn't feel a need to ruin his holiday. 

The bedroom next to his had apparently been designated the music room, and Ryan had hoped coming out to the living room would allow him some peace, but he felt drawn to the music. The sound of Jon and Dallon's basses with Spencer playing a cajon he'd brought, weren't complimenting Brendon's voice in the way he felt his guitar would. His fingers twitched as he listened to the covers of classic songs they were playing. 

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed his guitar from his room; he'd brought his old one, even though Jon had bought him quite a few since they'd started the band. It felt familiar and comfortable to him, even as he entered the room to emotions varying from delight to displeasure at his arrival. 

"Yessss Ryan!" Jon grinned at him as they all stopped playing mid song. "Knew you couldn't stay away forever."

"Do you mind if I join?" He addressed his question to Brendon who had schooled his features into a neutral expression. Spencer and Jon turned to look at Brendon, while Dallon seemed distracted by something on his phone and didn't notice the sudden tension in the room.

"Of course." Brendon said shortly, before moving to sit at the keyboard. The balance of instruments was much better this way, and everyone started to relax a little as they took turns picking songs and fumbling their way through them, mostly by improvisation. 

After about an hour, Brendon leaped to his feet, managing to startle Jon who was closest to him. "I want to go swimming." He announced dramatically. His statement was met with mostly grimaces and looks of apprehension. "Come on Weekes! I'm not going alone." He grabbed Dallon under the arms and dragged him to the door as they both broke out in laughter. 

"Fiiiine." Dallon shrieked. "I'll come. Just let me get my suit."

Brendon pouted at him dramatically before smacking his ass as he walked passed him. "Where's the fun in that?" Their laughter pierced through Ryan as a dark lump of emotion settled in his stomach. When he looked away from the now empty door frame, Spencer had his arm around Jon's shoulders, and they both looked a little sad. Ryan felt like he was in the way of an intimate moment and mumbled something about taking a shower before leaving the room as quickly as possible. 

He went back to his bedroom, stopping to look out the window as Brendon and Dallon ran down to the lake, shoving each other and screaming. He regretted, not for the first time, agreeing to come up here. He grabbed his journal and flipped to an empty page, pausing with his pen just above the paper. He wanted to write more miserable, emotional music like he had for the album. It came naturally, and acted as a sort of catharsis. Instead, he forced himself to write about how he wanted things to be. He wrote about all the possible futures that he wished would happen, and then maybe put a bit of a dark twist on some parts, because let's be real, he couldn't help himself. He figured if they set it to some upbeat music, most of the listeners wouldn't notice anyway.