Just Like Seven Years Ago

The Dream

Giggling, as we are all lined up, listening to the command of our last drill, I see the crowd take off running. I'm trying to catch up with my best friend and partner in this drill to find out what we are supposed to do. I'm running without a purpose because she has been talking nonstop in my ear, causing me to lose focus when they were giving us instructions.

"Where are we headed?" I ask, winded.

She only giggles and continues to run. Maybe the wind in her ears, from running, is preventing her from hearing what I asked. I decide to keep the wind in me as much as I can and just follow her lead. Soon enough, we are climbing a fence as part of our drill. After the fence, I already know where we are headed. This is the one thing I can't do.

Jay wastes no time. She lunges head first into the water. I halt and call her name. About fifty others are already swimming out to the marked area. She turns on her back and smiles at me, beckoning me with her hand to get in. I shake my head and call for her to come back. She swims back to the cement barrier where I have stopped, giggling at me.

"Get in, Kristen. It's not far. You can do it."

Who am I kidding? I should have never signed up for this. This is a training for the Coast Guard, and, quite frankly, only a chosen few will be recruited. It's a drill for people considering joining straight from high school. It's an introduction to the Coast Guard. I think I did it mainly because Jay was interested in it, and I have nothing else going on. I should have known this wouldn't be for me. I have a fear of water, and they deal mainly with the water. I'm also going to college, so this, definitely, isn't for me. It's unfair that every time there is a water drill, Jay fails because of me, but my fear is real. I hate to even see her in there.

I stretch my arm towards her, "come out, please?"

I can feel my fear kicking in overdrive at seeing her bobbing up and down to the rock of the waves. She smiles and tucks her head underwater. I scream her name, and she pops up again, grinning.

"Don't do that, Jay. Come out, please? I can't do this."

Jay looks at the crowd, already making their way back to shore. Indeed, it isn't far you have to swim out, but I freeze each time I am to get into water.

She tucks again.

This time, when I scream for her to quit playing, I see her grin slowly reduce to a smile. She hoists herself up on the cement wall where I am, sitting on the very edge, real close to me. I just stare at her, not saying a word, but I know she can see the worry and fear in my eyes. She just looks at me for a while, and she starts leaning in.

Is this why I accompanied my best friend on this training? Because deep within, I just want to be with her? I just want to make sure she is safe?

Her lips get closer, and I freeze in place, wanting it and not wanting it.
Her lips move closer still, and now I can't even see her face because I have closed my eyes, waiting to feel her touch -

I shuffle from my dream and pull myself up against the headboard of my bed. I rub at my eyes, trying to clear my vision. I can still see her face from the dream. The dream felt so real. I know it is real, but it was an occurrence that took place some seven years ago. This is the second time this week I have had this dream. Why? Why now? Strange enough, my mind doesn't add or take away anything from what truly occurred.

Checking my alarm clock, I see it's already approaching 5 am. I might as well get up and get my day started.
Today, I need to go see my ailing aunt. On Saturdays, I go check on her and do a small grocery shopping for her. She has caretakers, but I just like to take some time to see her. By noon, I will be back home, and the rest of the day will be mine.

I climb from my bed and start making it. I intend on quickly placing things in order in my flat before I head over to my aunt.