Open Desires

I can't believe............................

Shanti POV

"I've been traveling on this road too long, just trynna find my way back home, the old me is dead and gone dead and gone." I sang as I drove to work. I left all those clues for him to know that I didn't do anything but what happens? He still believes that I did.

**flashback** I came back from the run with Patrick. It was peaceful. We talked about a lot. He told me how Dee always talked about me being the one he wants to be with forever. Maybe I over reacted to what he did earlier. Damn we been running for some sh_t. "Patrick don't you think its time we head back?" I asked him, he looked at me while he slowed down. "You know I don't know. What time is it?" I looked down at my watch, "It's 8:45. We should start heading back or we could just keep going considering it's a round about?" I waited for him to respond. Most likely he'll say yea let's go round. "OK lets turn back." "Don't you think going back will take longer?" I asked him knowing it will. "No it'll be the same time round." He said to me and turned around and started walking back. "Oh can we walk all the way back please Pat?!! Please please please I don't wanna run unless its up the stairs to go to my room." He looked at me and smile, "Okay Ms. Lazy Bones. We'll walk all the way back." I got back in the house around 9:15. I walked up the stairs to the room to see Dee all spread out on the bed. The only part of the bed that had enough space for me to sleep on without bothering him is the left but I normally sleep on his right. I shrugged my shoulders and laid next to him and drifted off into a wonderful doze.**flashback end**

Maybe I really should've really slept with Pat at least if I was called a slut or whatever he said this morning I wouldn't feel like he didn't believe any of the clues I left but I suppose it okay for right now. *BEEEP* I hear in my back. Dayum give a chick a break. I put my middle finger in the mirror so I know the a_s behind me saw it. "What now punk?" I mouthed in the mirror and then drove away. I turn on the radio and guess whats playing? You would never believe. "I'm bringing sexy back yeah. Them other b_tches don't know how to act. Yeah.I think its special whats behind your back yeah so turn around and let me pick up the slack yeah take her to the bridge dirty babeeee you see these shackles baby I'm your slave I'll let you whip me if I misbehave it's just that no one makes me feel this way take him to the chorus come here boy go ahead be gone with it. Awwwww f_ck." I turned it because it reminded me of him. And I turned into another Justin Timberlake song, "You were my sun you were my earth but you didn't know all the ways I loved you ohhhhh so you took a chance and make other plans but I bet you didn't think they would come crashing down nooooo. You don't have to say what you did I already know I found out from herrrrr I guess there is no chance you and me could ever be. Oh no no no no no. I have to turn this damn radio off!" I turned it off and it saved me some tears. I hear my phone ring and who might it be you ask? The only person that has made me extremely pissed. Got me singing all these crazy ass songs. Ughhh like imma answer that dayum phone he has got another thing coming.

I pull up in the garage parking lot. Oh is that Professor Briant? Oh it is. "Professor Briant! How are you this wonderful morning in the life of a single man? Oh isn't worry free. I'm sure I will see soon." He looked at me like I was speaking in tongues, "What are you saying Shanti? What happened between you and Derek? Did y'all break up or something? I mean if y'all did, what you looking for a rebound already?" "Dayuumm. Well actually a rebound would be amazing but we haven't broken up at least not yet. He is a real pain you know. But I guess its OK cause I do love him." I said to him with a smile on my face. He probably thinking that I'm crazy but it's not true. I'm bipolar but not crazy. "Well okay. I'll see you at lunch." He said to me as he ran away and disappeared into the building. I stood there for a good minute or two just trying to figure out why he ran instead of just walking with me. Did he see someone or did he see like Derek or something? I turned around and who is getting out of the car behind me? You would never guess. It was my sister. I see why he ran. He and her dated but she made his life a living hell. Dayum right? But here she comes strolling over to me. What is she wearing?! This little girl has on some short a_s shorts that show her a_s cheeks with what looks like just a bra. I guess she has a right to show off what's hers. "Hey! Shanti I've missed you so much. What have you been up to?" I put on a fake smile just so that she doesn't suspect anything is wrong. "I've missed you too Dia. What have you been up to?" "Nothing at all. I mean honestly just being me." She said laughing. "I see that you're trying to hide how you feel. Just remember that i can feel your emotions unlike your boyfriend who i must admit has been going kinda crazy. What happened?" she asked me all in one breath. "Well see what happened was............" She cut me off before I could even continue. "My dear ol' sister haven't I told you nothing good comes after that phrase. Now how about you go inside.......or just call out for today because we need to talk about what happened. And its either I come to work with you or you come chill with me all day." She said then crossed her hands in front of her chest and looked at me waiting for me to give a response. I looked at the building and then back at her. I decided that I needed the day off after what I went through last night. I pulled out my phone not knowing what excuse to give at such a short time. "Hello. Good morning. Its a bright and wonderful day here at Woodland University. How may I help you?" said the secretary that I certainly dislike. "Uh good morning. Could I speak with Ms. Samantha Joe please?" "Yes please hold for a second." She said before she patched me through. "Oh the joy." I said more to myself than anyone else. "Hello goodmorning!" "Hey Sam. Its Shanti. I won't be able to make it in to work today. I'm sorry for such a short notice but my sister is sick." I heard her gasp on the other line, "Is she OK?" I tried not to laugh, "I hope so. I'm on my way to see her right now. " I said, "Well I will see you tomorrow, oh wait no i mean Monday! You have a wonderful weekend. And give your sister a big hug for me." I chuckled, "Oh thank you Sammy. I will and see you on Monday!"