1. You point with your lips
2. You eat with your hand and have it down as a technique
3. Your other piece of luggage is a “Balikbayan Box”
4. You nod your head upwards to greet someone
5. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbows on your knees while you eat
6. You use a rock to scrub yourself in the shower
7. You kiss relatives on the cheek when you enter the room
8. You’re standing next to eight big boxes at the airport
9. You collect items from hotels or restaurants as “souvenirs”
10. Your house has a distinctive aroma
11. You smile for no reason
12. You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly
13. You go to department stores and try bargain with the price
14. You scratch your head when you don’t know the answer
15. You never eat the last morsel of food on the table
16. You go bowling
17. You play pusoy or mahjong
18. You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun
19. You add an unwarranted ‘H’ to your name: Jhun, Bhoy, Rhon
20. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say “Excuse, Excuse” when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
21. Your middle name is your mom’s maiden name
22. You like everything that is imported or ‘stateside’
23. Your perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees
24. You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for events
25. You always offer food to your visitors
26. You put your arm on the other person’s shoulder if he or she is a close friend of yours
27. You draw a rectangle in the air when asking for the bill, which never fails to baffle the restaurant staff
28. You don’t sit on the bowl in public toilets, no matter what part of town or if your thighs ache like hell; and you flush the toilet with your feet
29. You think ‘tuck out’ is the opposite of ‘tuck in’
30. You tell everyone you meet where you studied and the intricacies of your family tree-just to show them you come from good stock – it never occurs to you that people may not have heard of your university or your clan’s last name
31. You show up late for work and your excuse is ‘I forgot to on the alarm’ or better yet ‘traffic eh’
32. You linger over the Tonite and Balita tabloids available at the Star Ferry, but quickly buy the Asian Wall Street Journal when other Filipinos start browsing
33. Brushing your teeth after lunch in the office lavatory is an unbreakable habit, even if your colleagues can’t bear touching the taps after you’ve drooled and spat all over them
34. Namedropping is your favorite sport when you meet up with new acquaintances from back home
35. Toni Braxton, Basia and Swing Out Sister are your idea of party music, you hardly listen to anything else
36. You sell Amway and Herbalife as sideline
37. You fight noisily with Cathay Pacific check-in staff over the size of handcarried luggage-which could be anything from oversized suitcases to major appliances
38. You underdeclare your income when you pay Phil tax, even if it’s peculiar that a consultant is paid little more than a domestic helper’s wages
39. At Immigration, when they call out ‘Maria’, you and 46 other women stand up
40. When they play ‘Anak’ anywhere, your chest swells with pride and say ‘that’s Filipino’
41. You think taking a shower and taking a bath are the same thing
42. You use shopping bags as garbage bags
43. You use laundry detergent to wash your dishes
44. You use print rags from an imported fashion magazine as cover of your textbooks and notebooks
45. You enjoy watching Pinoy action films with the same plot: Hero and villain are mortal enemies. Hero’s family’s killed by villain. Hero seeks revenge. Hero meets bar girl with sad tale of past love. She comes from a poor family, that’s why she’s working in the bar. They fall in love. Villain kidnaps girl, threatens to kill her if hero won’t stop harassing him and his henchmen. Hero rescues girl, they run away. Chase goes on in a dilapidated car. Hero finally kills villain and police arrive. Hero and girl live happily ever after.
