1. You use ‘walis tambo’ and ‘walis ting-ting’ as opposed to a conventional broom
2. You own a karaoke machine
3. You own a piano that no one ever plays
4. You have a portrait of the Last Supper hanging on your dining room wall
5. You have a ‘tabo’ in your bathroom
6. You have a rose garden
7. Your house is cluttered with ‘burloloys’
8. You display a big laughing Buddha for good luck
9. You have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room
10. You own a ‘barrel man’ (schwing!) from Baguio
11. You have ‘parol’ displayed during the holidays
12. You cover your living room furniture with bed sheets
13. Your lampshades still have plastic covers on them
14. You have plastic runners to cover your carpets
15. You refer to VCR as ‘Betamax’ even if it’s a VHS
16. You own a rice dispenser
17. You own a turbo broiler
18. You own a lamp with oil that drips down to the strings
19. You have a giant wooden spoon and fork hanging in your dining room
20. You own Capiz shell chandeliers, lamps or placemats
21. You have a pair of wooden tinikling dancers on your wall
22. You have ‘Weapons of Moroland’ shield hanging on your living room wall
23. Your wall to wall carpeting includes the ceiling
24. You own one of those fiber-optic flower lamps
25. Your microwave, washer, TV, VCR, computer, printer, toaster and doorknobs are hidden under quilted covers
26. You have the entire Apo Hiking Society collection, plus maybe some Tito Mina and Pops Fernandez thrown in
27. There’s a pail in your bathroom, just in case there’s a water shortage or the toilet won’t flush
28. You have fly swatter in your kitchen
29. You have multiplex tapes
30. You buy song hit mixes like “New Wave Disco Hits”
