kiss me hard before you go || Eren x Levi

fifth

When Hanji came back to check on him exactly thirty minutes later, Levi pretended to sleep.

He could hear her and she wasn't alone. A large warm hand touched his forehead, caressing gently on his fallen bangs – Levi immediately recognized who it belonged to. His heart rattled in its bony cage yet on the outside, his fought to keep his muscles still. They cannot know he was awake.

“Are you sure about him?” Erwin spoke in a hushed tone. Even with his closed eyes, Levi could feel the burning gaze his superior had on him that it made him want to dig a hole and bury himself alive.

Hanji must’ve told Erwin of her theories, of what she believed – a baby inside a man’s body, implanted by a taboo act between two men. Thinking about how Hanji would tell Erwin her hypothesis on how the baby was made, Levi felt heat rush up to his face and all he wanted to do was to deny everything, despite everything being completely real.

He felt a chunk of his ego ripped off him, thrown into the dirt.

But he couldn’t let them find out he was awake, Erwin would allow Hanji to examine him right before his eyes to prove her right and that can’t happen. He was already humiliated enough and to be humiliated in front of Erwin – he’d rather give himself in to a female titan. Let them chew his bones and swallow him down their alimentary tract, it was better than to have Hanji touching him everywhere he didn't want to the second time in front of Erwin.

“I know it sounds rather ridiculous but, I’m 80% positive.”

Levi could hear Erwin scratching the back of his head and he pretended to roll over to his side in his sleep, facing away from them just because he was tired having their eyes right on him. He fought the urge to open his eyes and convince Erwin that Hanji had gone completely insane because there’s no way in hell he was pregnant. There’s no way in hell Erwin would believe her either! The idea itself was – well – impossible.

He was a man, he was sure of it; he had all the right parts. Sure, he was short, shorter than most girls and he was once mistaken as a girl when he was younger because of his almost childish facial features – hence why he was always seen with a frown on his face – but that doesn’t mean he was actually build internally like a woman, despite the longing to be held by another man, what's in his heart, his spirit, his soul is completely unrelated to his anatomical being, right? What about that boy who is always around Eren – Armin? His appearance is more of a girl’s than Levi’s but he’s a boy; inside out, right?

Erwin couldn’t possibly believe Hanji that Levi had an error during his growth in his mother’s belly that he turned out to be both man and woman at the same time, right? If that’s so and if the squad found out, Levi would be the laughing stock for a whole century. Even after his death there’s going to be people visiting his memorial - the highlight would be talking about the great Corporal Levi is actually a woman inside and is actually knocked up by a boy.

Basically, eternally, Levi is doomed if everything Hanji was right.

So, no, this can’t be happening. There must be a logical explanation for each and every one of his symptom.  That’s right, there’s nothing wrong with him, he was fine, probably a little sick but it’s Hanji who came out with these nonsensical postulations. And Erwin – he will never believe Hanji’s absurd idea.

“Do you believe me commander?” It was as if Hanji could see Levi’s mind floating around the room, “Because Levi doesn’t. He thinks he’s just ill, but I’m sure, this is more than just a bug.”

Erwin sighed, “We don’t even understand ours and the titans’ existence despite battling them for millions of years. These walls… even their structure is still a mystery to us so I -,” he chewed his bottom lip, “I’m sure there’s a lot of mysteries to the human capabilities we have yet to discover, our uniqueness, our supreme and Levi – he just happens to be those special ones.” Levi would be lying if he said his heart skipped a beat from hearing Erwin calling him that - special.

Hanji’s eyes turned excited, she clasped her hands together, “so you’d allow me, grant me permission to be in charge of Levi’s care? That I’d be his personal physician for this?”

Internally, Levi was screaming, begging for Erwin to shut her down completely. Tell her ‘no’.

“I care for Levi – as a close comrade, a brother. He might doubt me about it and he might not be the best person to care for himself, I want him better in the hands of someone I trust. So yes, Hanji Zoe, I entrust you to care for Levi’s health.”

And Levi wished he had a gun in his hands, so he could shoot them both before shooting himself.