Famous In Love // Chaesoo ❤️

Chapter 22

The whole week I was just ignoring her and I no longer ride with her in a car. Everyday I was taking a bus there.

And it wasn't easy of course now that I am popular everyone knew me. That wouldn't be that bad but random people were asking me questions about Jisoo.

Questions about the girl she was kissing, what I think about her being lesbian... And once I heared that someone asked if I am jealous.

I still love her so much but I can't be with her. After the talk with Lisa I realised she's right. She probably doesn't love me enough so that's why she kissed someone else. I know I did the same thing too but for different reasons.

I fucking miss her so much but... It's over. But she'll forever be my first love of course.

Jisoo... I don't know how's she but I would say that she's is not good. I am meeting her everyday and the first days she even tried to talk to me but I ignored her everytime.

It's really hard to act like we are couple fighting against the world when we are not. If I knew this is going to happen I wish I would choose a different kdrama. But also not... I wouldn't met my first love... But was it worth it? I don't know....

Mentally I am not doing good... Since the whole thing happened I crushed down mentally. I started drinking everyday after work. I don't even like alcohol but It's making me feel better and forget Jisoo even if it's only for ten seconds.

Lisa is always trying to stop me from hurting myself but when she's not around I fall into the darkness again.

I blame myself for this... I believe it's not her fault. I wasn't enough for her I get it.

Right now it's 5 in a morning and here I am...Sitting on couch, Drinking the same wine that Jisoo and I had on our first date. That time when I got drunk for the first time. I laughed at myself. I am crazy for doing this...

I stood up slowly because my head is spinning. I turned off the music I was listening to and went to the bathroom. I looked at myself and started crying... Wasn't I really enough for her? I guess I am not pretty enough...

After I did my morning routine it was already 7 am. Things always took longer when you are a tipsy. I mean I fell two times this morning already...

I picked some clothes and put them on me. I already had my make-up on so I was ready to go.

I walked to the bus station and waited for it. I hope no one was watching me because I almost fell again going here. Also I am walking wierdly the whole time.

When the bus came I went in and sat down. It was half hour ride so I pulled my phone out and texted Lisa.

Chae: Hi Lisa how are you?

Lisa: I am okay how are you?

Chae: I've been better 🙃

Lisa: Chaeyoung you have to get over this... You can't be stucked at the same spot.

Chae: I know I just... Miss her so much. I don't want to move on from her. All I want in my life is her.

Lisa: I know but apparently she doesn't want you that much that's why she cheated!

Chae: I know but the other day she said that it wasn't her fault and that I had to believe her..

Lisa: When it's not her fault why she didn't explained it to you? She just wants you back

Chae : I want her back too 🙁

Lisa: Chaeyoung don't hurt yourself like that... I know it's hard but you have to get trough it... I miss my best friend