Poison

I'm.. Sorry.

    August walked alongside Ethan, the cold air filling his lungs as he breathed, the sky just as white as everything else. Even though it was already February, they'd gotten a bad snow, almost six inches deep. August laughed as they walked past a huge lake, one that would usually terrify him. He was still terrified of water, no matter how long it had been sense he had fallen in. "Look, it's frozen." He giggled, hesitantly walking towards it. He knelt down though, secretly making a snow ball. His plan was to get Ethan in front of him, on the thick ice, and throw it at his brother. No harm in that, right?
   Ethans arms stayed close to his sides, his eyes stuck at the lake. It was pretty, the way the ice would shine in the dim sunlight. He giggled and nodded, walking towards it. "Is it." He bent down on his knees to touch the ice. It was thick, decently sturdy. He pushed himself up back to his feet, ready to turn around.
   August smiled as Ethan stood, getting the ball ready. "Hey!" He laughed, reeling back and throwing it at him, hitting him right on the back of the head with a decent amount of force. Not enough to hurt him, but enough to startle him, seeing as how he was off guard.
   Ethan jumped a little, a quiet squeak. He felt a bit of ice under the snow, feeling his feet being pushed towards the lake he put his arms out to catch himself but it did no good. He felt the ice under him crack and he looked towards august, stumbling to get up in pure panic. "No.. no" he whined, he felt his left foot under the ice cold water, then the other, and reached his arms out, trying to hold on to anything, but all that was there was the flat, thick ice. He was left clawing at it, doing everything he can. "HELP ME!!" He cried, his eyes watching his hands clawing at the ice.
   August yelped as he seen him fall, panic and fear taking over his body as he lunged towards him, trying to grab onto his hands. Only a moment too late, watching those hands fail, watching them slide under the freezing water with the rest of the man's body. ETHAN NO!" He screamed, standing up and without a second thought, he dove in after him. But.. he wasn't fast enough. Ethan sank too fast, disappearing under the murky water. It was too dark.. all August saw was one tiny glimmer of his wedding ring in what was left of the sunshine, and then it faded. August tried to follow it, tried to catch up to him, but his body's instinct to go for air was too strong, pulling him to resurface and take a breath. "NO!" He screamed, diving back under. Searching. His lungs screamed at him, and his body forced him back to the surface after so long. He repeated this process for too long, but It was too late. There was no saving him this time. It was over. Not even Zeke could bring him back. He hoisted his body up onto the snowy bank, pulling his legs up to his chest as he shivered, staring at that spot where he'd fallen. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to I didn't think.." he kept mumbling incoherently, his body having violent tremors, begging him to go someplace warm. To dry off. But he couldn't move. He just.. sat there. In his head he was screaming, crying. Begging to have him back. In reality, he sat stone cold still, a blank stare at that spot as the tears froze to his cheeks. His hair matting to his face with ice.
    It happened in a split second. His eyes stayed closed, the world around him was dark under his eyelids. But the sheets were warm, the air smelled.. familiar. His eyes shot open, his body jerked upwards. The sheets that wrapped around him fell into the floor. He looked around him. The room wasn't new, but it's definitely not what he was used to. Grey walls with small picture frames and a computer in the corner. The window by the bed was cracked, warm air seeped through. The sun beaming down on his long red hair that fell in his eyes. He moved his hands to his face, a couple bracelets on his wrist. His eyes fell to his arms, even if they were almost unnoticeable when he was younger, there was no scars. He felt his hands shaking, as he swung his feet to the side of the bed, standing up. That's when he could really put his finger on it. He ran to his closet, the stand up mirror against the wall, he looked. His red hair fell around his shoulders, his black shirt hung loosely off him. This was him. He was alive. He turned towards the clothes hanging on the racks. His eyes growing wide, he ran to the door, swinging it open as the knob hit the wall it was on. He ran Down the stairs, turning the corner into the living room. Instead of it being dark with bottles and cans piled to the middle of the couch, instead of the wall paper hanging off the walls and the tv muted, the tv was off, the walls perfectly fixed like they were brand new and the light hitting every corner. "What.. what the hell."
   Michael day on the couch, looking up at him. He wasn't a mess, he didn't have a beergut or unshaven face, long I brushed hair. "Morning, sleepyhead." He teased playfully, a smile on his face. "You slept a little late." He said, looking back at the book in his hands mindlessly. "I told him you'd message him when you woke up."
   Ethans eyes stayed on him, taking in everything. He looked so clean, so neat. That.. that's not his dad. His hands traveled to his hair, looking at his feet. That smile.. he hadn't seen that in.. years. He didn't say anything. Just.. took a step farther and walked past him, into the kitchen. "Well hello.." a soft, melodic voice rung throughout it. The smell of cake filled the air, becoming much more apparent. A long red haired woman with a light blue dress bent over the table, spreading sweet icing over a chocolate cake. "How did you sleep, lovely." Ethan stood, paralyzed. His arms stuck to his side. "M-mom..?" He muttered, absolutely taken aback. This.. this isn't real. "Honey? Are you okay?" She sit the spoon down, walking towards him with her arm out. She meant to touch him, feel his face. Maybe he was feeling a little bad. But Ethan didn't give her the chance, wrapping his skinny arms around her and burying his face in her chest.
   Michael watched from his spot on the couch, tilting his head to the side slightly, talking quietly. "Did you have a nightmare?" He asked, concerned. But he didn't really get up, letting him have that time with his mom instead. He always had leaned more towards her, a mamas boy. And he was completely fine with that.
   Ethan ignored his words for a minute but really realizing what was happening, he pulled away. His eyes meeting with the woman's he.. smiled. The corners of his lip curled in a way that didn't fit his face at the moment and he nodded. "I'm okay.. dad." His eyes brightened in a way they never have before. At least.. not that his family had seen. "I'm great!" He laughed, looking down at the cake. "Cake?" He smiled. "For breakfast?" She smiled and shook her head, giggling a little. "Of course not.. this is for tonight." Her voice never changed. "I'll be making breakfast soon. Why don't you sit here and wait?" She suggested, turning to finish her desert. "I think.. I think I'll go say morning to dad." She nodded and let him go. He walked into the same room as Michael, sitting in the couch beside him. "Morning sad." He smiled, looking at him. It was.. unbelievable. All of it was. It all seemed so real. It couldn't be though. Some kind of.. fever dream from passing out in that lake. Or he was.. dead. But that.. that didn't mater. Nothing mattered. He had his parents back. He had is his life again. Nothing bad would ever happen. He was sure of it.
     "Good morning." Michael greeted as he smiled that friendly smile again, looking up at him from his book. He shut it easily, a book mark marking his place as he set it down in his lap. He looked so content. Not an angry bone in his body.
   Ethan would've ran away, would've cried. But he knew what this was, there was no denying. He was sure as hell going to enjoy it. He didn't even think about the others, not his wife, not his kids.. not even his brother. "What are you reading?" So that's.. that's where he got his love for reading from. "It look interesting." He smiled, shifting a little to look at him.
    "Oh, this?" He asked, looking back at the book and lifting it back up. It was that book Ethan always read at his desk. "It's old.. when I get finished with it you can borrow it if you like?" He offered, raising a brow and offering the book to him so he could examine it.
    Ethans eyes lit up and he smiled. "Oh.." he reached out for it, a little too slow. He looked at the cover of it. He'd already finished it.. even if it had taken so long. "I bet it's great." He reaches it back to him, but he locked eyes with him. His eyes weren't cold.. the were shinny, even in the shadows, they were full of color and passion. It wasn't like him. He couldn't say anything. He looked like a whole other person. He caught himself staring, but couldn't look away even if he tried.
    Michael smiled and took it back, setting it back on his lap easily. Though.. he caught the staring. He looked back at him, trying to read his eyes. He saw the confusion, like he was looking at a stranger. "Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, raising a brow.
   Ethan threw himself back to reality and nodded. "Yeah.. yeah I'm good." He smiled, standing up. "I uh.." he looked himself down, still in his sleeping clothes. "I think I'm gonna go shower." He bit his lip. He was.. he was starting to understand. He knew he was dead. He knew all of this was.. well, you know. He looked towards the stairs. "I'll just be a minute." He didn't give him a chance to protest, rushing up the stairs. This was his reality now. This was his new life. And he was sure as hell going to take it.
    Michael raised a brow, watching him dart up the stairs. "Okay, dont fall.." he warned, watching how fast he went up those stairs. He let a smile grow across his face as he remembered the funny times he himself went down the stairs trying to stop Ethan from running on them, yet Ethan made it out perfectly fine.
    Ethan rushed into his room, messing with the sheets. If this is.. really it.. maybe.. just maybe.. "ha!" He laughed, pulling his phone from the sheets and opening it up. It was older than his in the real world. Scrolling through the apps, he found some older messages. People he didn't remember, family, but right there.. that's it. He stared at the contact name. Serenity, with a small heart. A big smile spread on his face as he sit on the bed, never letting his gaze move. That's what his dad meant. "Morning." It was simple, short. But he didn't know what else to say. He bit down on his lip, waiting for a response.
    Serenity replied within seconds. A happy tone, even though it was only letters on a screen. "Good morning! I tried to visit you but your dad said you was still asleep." He was sitting on his own bed lazily, holding his phone up over his chest.
    Ethans smile widened and he jumped to his feet. "You could come back over." He replied, pushing his bangs from his face. He didn't realize how annoying having long hair was.. how did August deal with it? "We should go somewhere."
   "Sounds great! I'll bring money. I have $20 dad gave me for my birthday." He smiled as he read the message, hopping up and sliding his over sized shoes on. Not obnoxiously large, but slightly too big.
   Ethan squeaked. It's his birthday. "Uh.. fuck" he thought aloud, typing as quick as he could. "That sounds great. Don't worry, I didn't forget." It was supposed to sound more.. teasing. "I'll get ready, give me a few minutes." He sit his phone down without thinking, running to the bathroom and getting in the shower.
Running his fingers through his hair, his eyes closed and the water running over his face. He took a quiet breath, opening his eyes. "Serenity.." he mumbled under his breath. "Mom.." He was thinking aloud, but it didn't seem like anyone would hear. He let out a quiet, breathy laugh. And then one a little louder. "Oh my god. Oh.. my god!" He squeaked, finally starting to rush again. All of this.. this was beyond amazing.
    Serenity giggled, messaging a tease back. "I think that's a lie." He stuffed his phone in his hoodie pocket, trotting out of his room with a new type of joy in his step. With excitement.. so ready to see his love. "I'm going back over to Ethan's, I'll be back later!" He called out to his dad, who was god knows where in the house. But he heard a quiet, "Okay, be careful!" From another room, showing him his dad heard. He headed out, walking over to Ethan's home. It was only about a mile away, and he was fit. So it was easy to walk that far but still gave Ethan enough time to get ready. He knocked softly, waiting for anyone to respond.
   Just as he was tying his shoe, he heard the knock. Soft, but decently loud. He jumped to his feet, practically running to the door. He swung it open quickly, grabbing him by his hood and pulling him close to wrap his arms around him. Serenity barely got the chance to look at him. He buried his face in the boy's neck, closing his eyes. He couldn't believe it. He was here. Serenity was here. He didn't want to let go. He begged whatever god there was.. that serenity wouldn't let him.
   Serenity squeaked and wrapped his arms around him, the biggest smile on his face, his cheeks a light pink. "I love you too, silly." He giggled, holding on tight, letting one of his hands run through his hair gently.
    Ethans smile only widened, biting his lip as he pulled away, he knelt his hands on him but locked his eyes with him. He moved his right hand up to his cheek, running his thumb across it gently. "I missed you so much." He mumbled, feeling a tear trying to fight its way to his eye.
   Serenity saw the glossy look in his eyes, widening his eyes slightly. "Aw, don't cry!" He smiled, standing in tip toes to kiss him. "I missed you too." He replied, pulling away for a moment before returning to the kiss once more. He kept his own eyes closed, just enjoying the affection for now.
   Ethan froze for a minute, his eyes widening. But he.. he gave in far too easily, releasing the boy's face and wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him as close as he could and closing his own eyes. "I'm not.. I'm not crying silly." He smiled as he pulled away, looking down at the boy's feet. "We should go." He bit his lip, grabbing his hand and leading him out the door. The sun was so bright. No trace of snow, the air was light and the wind was very.. very soft. The whole place looked so bright and.. normal. Nothing looked out of place, nothing looked old or worn. The trees looked like they could sing with the grass. Everything looked like a movie, like a really great movie that he'd only dream of living. He turned for a minute, looking at serenity. The way the sun hit his eyes, the way his skin shimmered. The way the wind would softly run through his hair. Everything was so.. so perfect. Not one.. single thought of his old life would cross his mind. Maybe he should've felt bad about that. But he knew he was stuck here anyway. He laughed a little, not at anything in particular, just.. so.. happy. Happier than he'd been in.. his entire life. Everything that had been ripped from him, everything that had ever gonna wrong in his life.. it was all gone. Everything was perfect.
   Serenity squeaked and followed him out, holding his hand tightly. Then he stopped and looked at him, and Serenity stopped too. He didn't even squint in the sunlight, as if it didn't bother his eyes at all. Those pretty multi colored eyes met with Ethan's white ones. And he smiled that slightly imperfect smile. The little gap in his teeth, the dimple on only one side. He had no idea he wasn't real. He had no clue he was only a figment of Ethans imagination, a deep desire created only for his own personal haven. To himself, he was real. And everything else here was, too. "Like what you see?" He teased, letting out another cute giggle, a melody prettier than that of the birds or other sounds nature had to offer.
   Ethan giggled and nodded, squeezing his hand. "You're fucking beautiful." He smiled pulling him close and wrapping his arm around his shoulder as he continued to walk. "Well.. what do you wanna do?" He smiled, glancing at him for a minute. Serenity laughed, looking up at him as he wrapped his arms around him. He gave an innocent look, like a child. "Hmm.. I don't know.." he said softly. "I'm already hungry. I just ate." He smiled, looking down. He was far from chubby, but he wasn't skinny either. He was.. soft. Squishy. "Maybe l get a belly." He made fun of himself, but in all honesty, he didn't care. As long as Ethan loved him, he was happy.
   Ethan laughed and nodded. "I'm.. fucking starving." He groaned dramatically, glancing at him for a reaction. Ethan loved it, he wasn't going to lie. It made him that much more adorable. He squeaked and jumped a little. "Can we please please pleaseeee get tacoosss?" He pleaded a little too childish.
   Serenity looked at him, snickering at his groan and how childish he was being. "Of course. We can buy a big box of them and just carry them around all day munching on them." He joked. He put off a warmth and happy vibe that could radiate anyone, brightening anyone's day.
    Ethan laughed and nodded. "What are we going to do though?" Ethan always felt that around him, thats one of the things that drew him in so easily. He always brightened the entire world when he'd step into vision. He outshone even the sun. "I mean.. we gotta do something special." He smiled.
    "If you reallly want tacos.." he started, acting like he was thinking. "We could get a taco pizza and treat it like a birthday cake." He giggled. "Speaking of!" He started. "Your house smelled like cake. You better believe I'm going to take some of it." He warned, looking up at him.
    Ethan laughed and nodded. "That sounds amazinggggg!" He drug out the last word, looking at him. "Hey.. actually." He looked at him, slowing his pace a little. "You think you could stay tonight?" He blushed a little, letting his bangs fall over his eye. "Just.. you know, for your birthday and all." He looked away shyly, his cheeks burning.
    He looked up at him, raising a brow. He saw the blush and the way he said it, giggling. "Oh, I'll think about it." He teased. Though.. they both knew he'd be staying the night already.
    Ethan giggled a little and messed with the bracelets on his wrist. "Okay." He bit his lip shyly, and moved his eyes in front of him again. "God.. how much longer? I'm starving" He whined, seeing the place they're headed to in the distance.
    "It'll take maybe two minutes to walk there, baby.." he smiled, giggling as he picked up his pace to a run. "Race!" He laughed, taking off and leaving Ethan behind.
   Ethan gasped and laughed a bit as he took off. "Wait up!!" He took off with him, watching the way the sunlight bounced off the boy's hair, for a second the world flash a bright white color. When it came back, everything seemed to slow but in flashes he noticed the changes of serenity. He.. wasn't serenity anymore. Long red hair flowing in the wind, laughing that wasn't as bouncy, steps that were louder. It made him stop. August.. "wait!" His voice was more of a cry now, a desperate, hurt cry. He reached out, he tried to grab on to him but he tripped on something, and he fell. Closing his eyes, he felt a pain in his arm. He scraped the hell out of his elbow.
   Serenity heard his cry, and then the fall. He skidded to a stop, turning and seeing him on the ground. "Shit!" He whined, racing back to him and crouching next to him. "Hey.." He said softly, gently examining his arm. "You're alright.." he promised, sitting cross legged by him rather than making him stand up.
    He sat there for a minute, his eyes closed and tears fighting to show. It.. wasn't August. It was serenity's voice again. He bit his lip, forcing himself to sit up. Though he.. couldn't look up at him. His eyes stayed in the boy's lap, his hands shaking. He felt a tear fall as it hit his own leg. He must've looked pathetic.. crying over falling. But serenity had no idea. Serenity didn't even know he was.. he wasn't real. He was just part of Ethans personal heaven. Up to this point, he didn't even think about his life before, he'd almost forgotten about it completely. He sniffles, rubbing his eyes. "I'm.. in okay.." he mumbled, looking to the side. "I'm fine." He repeated, making himself stand, even thought it hurt like a bitch to bend his arm.
   Serenity saw the tears fall, pouring a little. "You are." He promised again, grunting as he climbed to his feet alongside him. "No more racing, huh?" He smiled, trying his best to make the other happy.
   Ethan nodded, sniffling his last time before putting on a small. "Yeah.. maybe he not." He looked towards the building again. "We're practically here anyway.." he mumbled, letting his hair stay in his face. He was starting to understand how easy it was now, at least.. when you feel like this.
   Pfft, August always felt that way, it was easy for him, noob. He saw the way his whole demeanor changed, reaching out and taking his hand carefully. "I'm sorry I made you fall." He apologized quietly, looking at the ground now. "Right.. we are!" He squeaked, sticking his other hand in his pocket to find his money, wrapping his fingers around it easily.
   Ethan shushed him, putting a finger to the others lips, blushing a little after a minute. "I got it." He giggled, pulling him to the counter for them to order.
   "I can't believe you two forgot about me." The all too familiar voice rang out from around the corner. Serenity looked away from Ethan's eyes only to meet that of Cyrus. Those unique eyes and freckles. "We didn't forget about you." Serenity started. "We just knew you'd be here already, so we didn't bother inviting you." He pulled off a save. Cyrus rolled his eyes playfully. "Yeah right. I know you better than that, you're too absent minded." Cyrus smirked, Serenity shoved him. "Am not!" "Are so! Ethan tell him he's absent minded!" Cyrus looked up at Ethan. Both he and Serenity were tiny little midgets, even in Ethan's teen years he was taller. Cyrus got all defensive about it, and Serenity embraced it.
   Ethan looked for a minute, he wanted to speak up but serenity did it for him. He watched two bicker and he threw his hands up when he was being pulled into it. "Don't drag me into this!!" He defended himself. Ethan was taller than a lot of people, his friends and family, or st least decently the same Height. He was a tall fuck, he couldn't help it. His eyes lit up a little more though, instead of that grey color they held a few moment before. "Stop it!" He whined, but he decided to break the two up himself, grabbing Cyrus and hugging him tight. It didn't hit him as hard as it did with serenity. It probably should have, but he was just so.. happy. He pulled away much quicker. "Did you get anything yet?" He asked, grabbing serenity's hand again. He didn't like not being able to touch him in some way. He had to.. all the time.
   Cyrus laughed and hugged tightly onto Ethan for that moment, smiling a little. "Best way to break up a fight. Don't hit. Just hug." He joked, looking up at him. Then, he shook his head. "No. I'm not simple minded, I knew you guys was gonna show up." He grinned, still taunting Serenity. Serenity took Ethan's hand easily and snickered at Cyrus. "Yeah, right. I bet you was just lonely and HOPING we'd show up." Cyrus three his hands up in defeat. "Alright, you got me." He smiled, that little blue part of his dark brown eyes glistening with that look. "Lets all order and then go buy useless shit we don't need. I got some money." He said, carelessly. Serenity's eyes widened. "You? Have money? Wow.." Cyrus's cheeks burned with that, looking at him. "Shut up Serenity!" He whined. "I made it for your birthday so appreciate me, dammit!"