❝ everyone from my time is dead. i don't belong here; i don't belong anywhere. ❞
Ninety-seven years ago, the earth became soaked in radiation, leaving few survivors. Some of them were stuck up in space, not knowing when it would be safe to return. O...
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"The answer is no, Kane."
Lane walked with her eyes trained forward as Marcus Kane hurried after her. What did he expect her reaction to be? He asked Lane to go outside Arkadia all the way back to the bunker to help Bellamy and his team gather supplies before another team came to burn the decaying bodies of the seventy-four people that were not as lucky as her.
Everyone at Arkadia was acting like Lane should immediately adapt to the way the world had become. They wanted her to join their patrols, meet some of the grounders they still communicated with, and help them turn the bunker into some kind of emergency shelter. She didn't mind helping out, and being on the patrols excited her, but Lane was afraid of what could happen if she went back to the bunker. She was afraid that as soon as she walked in she would be bombarded with forgotten memories that were hidden in the back of her mind for a reason. What if she couldn't remember the last few days before the bombs because those last few days were even more traumatic than losing both her parents?
Plus, it was getting super cold outside, and Lane hated cold weather.
"Lane, going back to that bunker could trigger your memories. Don't you want to know why you ended up in that pod?" Kane asked.
Lane sighed and came to a sudden halt, "I know you mean well, and you just want me to feel like I'm fitting in here, but you have to remember that when I woke up my last memory was being in Washington D.C. and now, suddenly ninety-seven years have gone by and everything I know is gone."
Kane had a sympathetic look in his eyes, but Lane didn't want his sympathy, "I believe that there's a reason you're the only one who woke up in that bunker, and that reason isn't so you can sit around in Arkadia all day avoiding your past. You have to face it eventually, Lane."
She hated how wise Kane could be sometimes, "And what if I find something I don't want to remember in that bunker?"
Kane put a hand on her shoulder, "We'll help you through it," he said, "if you'll let us."
Lane knew that by 'us', he meant all of his people, but several of them still acted like Lane was a bomb that could go off at any second. Everyone in Arkadia barely knew her, and she barely knew all of them. She heard someone say she was technically a grounder, so she should go off with her own people.
She understood that she was an outsider to the people of Arkadia, and no matter what Kane said, she would always feel that way. Lane would never have the feeling of home again. Her home was gone. It crumbled to dust a long time ago, and in the dust, it would always stay.
But, she knew Kane was right about one thing: she couldn't run from her past forever. So, she looked up at him with reluctance slightly present in her grey gaze and nodded, "Okay, I'll go."
Kane gave her a small smile, "It's okay to be afraid of your past, Lane. It's not okay to let that fear stand in the way of getting the closure you need to move on."
