no longer silent | brendon urie | sequel to darling

10: lunch without him

"dylan i need you to calm down"  brendon said as i sat on my bed sobbing my heart out. he was searching my room for sharp items and boy was he heartbroken.

after that he calmed me and talked with me. "you need to give justin time. he had a crush on you for ages. and now you guys are supposed to be getting married. he loves you. so so much. and he trusted you. just respect his boundaries. when he's ready to talk to you he will"

i nodded even though tears were stream streaming down my cheeks.
"go take a shower, okay? then come over. you've missed two saturday visits. we miss you"

i got up and trudged into the shower. i then blow dried my hair and got into blue jeans and pride sweater. i let me wavy hair out and looked at my disgusting face. my acne was terrible. fuck it, i thought. i went downstairs to see brendon had tidied up my living room.

we got into his car and brendon turned up the music - it was all pride music. brendon sang along and then saw how quiet i was. "hey" i looked at him. "you're still my daughter. and i love you so much. even if you made a mistake" he ruffled my hair and danced to the music.

we made it to his place and he opened up. the house smelt so good. i just wanted to crawl into my old bed and cry. be strong dylan, i thought.

"hey dyl! you okay?" sarah asked as i walked in with brendon who immediately kissed her. it reminded me of me and justin who i was missing so much. i nodded awkwardly. fuck. i wasn't talking.

AM I BACK TO BEING A MUTE ?

we all sat down and sarah served us some really good pasta. i was barely eating though. brendon and sarah kept the conversation going.

"so dylan - how are you?" brendon turned to me. "apart from the fact that i screwed up my engagement - im okay! you?" i replied, tears in my eyes. "dylan it was a mistake. and you owe justin an apology. all you can do now is give him space and hope that he will talk to you" sarah said.

"i just feel so shitty about it. i shouldn't have asked jessica to come over"
"you had the right intentions. but you gotta think before you do things, y'know?"
i nodded. "im gonna..." i got up and went to my old room and cried.