Skinny, Yet

Why

"Alissa, wake up, Alissa".

 I could hear Eli shout between cries, I could vaguely see the tears streaming from his beautiful blue eyes. At this point, I couldn't make out anything else, not his pretty brown hair or his perfectly placed freckles or his lush pink lips, just his ocean blue eyes, and the tears falling from them. They didn't have that happy look like they always had done in the past. Like his eyes had changed from the clear oceans of Greece to the cold dark oceans of the Antarctic. It was like his eyes were mood rings and I wish I could make them the happy blue once more. 

I could just about hear Sienna in the background, I didn't know what she was saying but I highly doubt it was positive. I could hear the fear in her normally gentle bubbly voice. I hadn't heard her sound so fearfully in years and I don't think I ever will again. She was normally so tough and brave she had had to be I guess, she was normally like a lion showing no emotion, now she sounded like a desperate lion cub looking for help and it was all my fault.

I couldn't make out Eli's eyes anymore, they just looked like blue dots in a white blur, a white blur that was slowly turning into a white light. I could hardly hear Sienna now either. I could just hear Eli say "Why?" in a less desperate and more sorrowful tone. 

It was a good question, why? 

None of this had to happen, just six months ago I was healthy and happy, yet here I am lying on the hard concrete slowly losing, life. I would have stopped all this if someone had said that superior word earlier, that word is "skinny". That word was everything to me it was like my god, I had wanted to be associated with it above all else. When it was said it seem to sound like a perfect high note or like angels singing, I wish I was hearing angels singing now instead of, nothing. 

But why was it such a glorious word, just why?