Lopsided Halos

Chapter 1

I lay down on the soft cold grass, peering at the stars as they shine bright, lighting up the once dark sky. There are millions, yet all of them seem important, or hold some significance. All hold a purpose. Each one of them is part of its own little puzzle. The picture would be incomplete with out them.

One can assume I should be sleeping, but I don't want to close my eyes and be greeted by the faces that haunt my nightmares. The faces that keep me up at night. Thankfully I don't actually need sleep. So instead I look up peacefully at the stars. The silence drifting me off into oblivion.

This was one of the few nights I got to actually stare at the stars.

I couldn't help but think how unlike people are from stars. Every star seems so real, so pure. Unlike the scum of this planet. Meanwhile every star holds some reason to shine, people often don't see theirs. Me, for example, shouldn't even be here. I should be up there with the stars, not with all of the evil creatures that roam this Earth. I will never forgive them for what they did.

I was only 12.

Now I lay here, just looking up at the stars thinking about how my life has changed since the incident. Can I even call it a " life"? Maybe an ... Afterlife - pre-death life? It's too confusing.

I should not be talking. Or well ... Thinking. You guys are probably ten times more confused than I am. Sorry. But my story only gets more confusing from there on.

Do you think you can handle it?

Well, only one way to find out.

~*~

"Did you stay up all night staring at the stars again? If you keep this up you will get sick! I don't understand how you aren't sick already," scolded my father. I would like to tell him, tell him that there was nothing to worry about, that I don't need it. I would like to tell him a lot of things. Just to help dwindle away his nervous thoughts, but I can't, he wouldn't believe me anyway. No human would.

I shrugged, plugging in my earphones not wanting to hear anymore. Can't stop by One Republic started to play loudly in my ears, blocking out the world around me. I had an ... obsession... with one republic, I'll admit. I do. Pretty much all of the songs I listen to are from one republic. Of course, I like other songs, too. Like Riptide, Titanium, and Cosmic Love. Most girls are all hung up on One Direction and here I am, being all obsessed with One Republic. The volume would most likely damage any normal persons hearing, but I don't have to worry much about that.

My stomach growled. I looked out the window, searching for some form of a food stop, preferably Panera. Mmm just the thought of that had my stomach grumbling. 

Currently, my father and I are heading to, yet again, my new home. I have moved 5, no...6 times? In the past 5 years? Yeah that sounds about right. He claims that it's because he 'hasn't found the right place to call home', but I know the truth. He doesn't like to stay anywhere too long because every little thing reminds him of mom, and eventually it becomes too much for him to handle, and we move. Even I remind him of mom, much to my dismay.

After 5 years, we still aren't over it. But for different reasons of course. My dad misses her, while I just try to think of reasons why she had to ruin everything. It was kind of ironic. Instead of me losing my life, she lost hers. They all think they know what happened, that she was just the innocent woman caught at the wrong place at the wrong time, but I know better. I was there. And the truth is, they know nothing.

As we come closer and closer to our new home, I look around. My new house is in what seems to be the middle of nowhere, surrounded by green trees. This part of Maine is like this though, pretty remote. Not that I mind. I like peace. Although it kind of looks like the perfect scene for one of those horror movies. I never knew why they just didn't get in the car and drive away from the killer? Or even get their OWN weapon? But no, instead of protecting themselves, they just run into the most dangerous place they can find as any moron would. Like, hmm, I'm being chased by a killer, I can either (a) run to the car and drive away, (b) grab a gun/ knife and shoot/ cut the head of the killer off or (c) run to the graveyard where there are no people to witness or help you, and no way to protect themselves. They, of course, choose (c). Idiots. Although I guess without their idiocy, there would be no plot. And the movie would suck.

Finally, we arrive and I take the place in. It's a gray house, a little bigger than average, though I don't see why. We have quite a copious amount of money, due to my mothers life insurance and my fathers working, but there are only the two of us living here, so there is no need for it to be so big. As if the loneliness of only having two people wasn't languishing enough.

I get out of the car and start the part I dreaded the most.

Unpacking. I shuddered at the thought. How much I would do for some FOOD right now. Maybe I could unpack later...

'Snap out of it, Leila!' I scolded myself for having such thoughts. Although they were so very tempting...

Ughhhhh.

I reluctantly started to carry the boxes into my new house, where the torture of lugging around furniture and redecorating began.

~*~

The house was pretty cozy, to be honest. I guess I judged it too quickly. My room has to be my favorite part, though. It's fairly large with a queen size bed, light blue walls and has a window that looks out into the forest, stars shining brightly above the trees. At least I will have something cool to walk through when everyone else is sleeping. I could be like those people in movies. Or maybe it could be like the one in a Bridge To Terabithia. That would be something. 

I was almost done unpacking, thank god. I only have the clothes left, which should take about an hour considering I have to take them all out of the boxes, put them on hangers, and then hang them up.

"Leila, dinners ready!" Called my father. FOOD! I scrambled to my feet and rushed down the hardwood stairs, my mouth watering just thinking about the meal.

He chuckled as he saw me barreling down the stairs. "Somebodies hungry."

I nodded frantically, staring at the Chinese food, before hurrying to my seat, giving thanks to god quickly in my head, before digging in quite unattractively.

I was so hungry I had hardly noticed the packing boxes littering the floor. We used to hire some people to help us unpack, but now it's just a waste of money. We are used to all of the organizing.

After about 15 minutes in, my dad started talking. "So, as you already know, you will be starting school in a few days. You are pretty much used to the whole ' I just moved here, my names Leilah, blah blah blah stuff.' So I won't get into detail about that. Who knows, maybe this will be the place where we finally call home and stay." You mean for more than a year, I thought bitterly. He says that about every house we move into, and it gets kind of old after the 6th time.

I try to not speak to my father too often. A part of me didn't want to get too attached to my father, fearing what once happened before with my mother. Another part of me knew that he would never do that, but I just couldn't risk myself the pain.

I meekly nodded my head and set my eyes downward, letting the awkward silence continue.

After devouring my rice and noodles, I put the plate in the sink and did the dishes, knowing that my dad had a rough day and not wanting him to have to do much more. Then, I headed back to my room that I am starting to love, and watched the stars above the forest, thinking about what it would be like to be an owl, hiding away in the trees, not being bothered much. Although eating mice and throwing up their bones would be pretty gross... yah, definitely not worth it. I shuddered. OK, yuck. Why did I think of that?

Change the subject, change the subject, change-

Creeeeeek- crunch - crunch.

I heard the sound of a large animal running, which immediately caught my attention, my previous thoughts about owl pellets long gone.

I stuck my ear against the mesh of the window that lets in the breeze and heard the movement stop. Something was in the woods, and judging by the amount of noise it was making, it wasn't small. Not at all.

I looked back out the window but saw nothing. I had this dreadful feeling in my stomach like I was being watched, but I was too creeped out to further investigate. Maybe I shouldn't take that walk in the soon-to-be-my-cooler-version-of-Terabithia tonight...

I shut my window, locking it, and grabbed my book. I read for the rest of the night, the feeling of dread still lurking in my stomach.

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