Fragile Heart

CHAPTER 3

Mom I want to tell you something. No, I-i mean can I ask you something? I asked her like a child who lost a toy.

Ofcourse, spill it out. I can't tell those things to mom. Just not now or maybe I will just let her to find it for her self.

What if you found out that dad is cheating on you? Just what if? What will you do? I want to hear her side so that I know what to expect. Whatever happens in the future. Sa oras na malaman ni mom sisiguraduhin kong andun ako sa tabi niya coz I know how painful it is to be cheated.

Ahmm I don't know. I've never been cheated. Your dad is my first boyfriend and he never did. I sadly smile to her, if you only knew mom.

... but maybe when that time comes, things and situation will be rough because it's not just about us, not just about his and my emotion. My decisions will affect our family. Maybe I'll try to give him a second chance depends on the situation or just let him go because why not give him a second chance if he is willing to? And why not let him go if keeping him makes the situation worst? I saw different emotions in her eyes that I can't read.

I felt a tear drop freely flowing on the side of my eyes while listening to her. Hindi lang namin kasi ito tungkol sa kanila, it is also about me and Clint. Kasi I don't know what to do anymore, hindi na healthy.

Why asked? Is it about Clint anak? Hearing her question made me cry more. Hindi ko na napigilan mapahagulgol, I cried while hugging mom.

Anak, alam mo ang relationship is not just all about love, it is also about faithfulness, sacrifice, care, endless patience and understading. A relationship should be balance in every aspects, it's a give and take. Hindi ngunit mahal na mahal mo siya titiisin mo lahat makasama lang siya. Buoin mo yung loob mo, mag isip ka ng mabuti, asses yourself, make a firm decision if you will stay or just go. Bakit mag sstay kapa sa isang relationship kung hindi na healthy para sa inyong dalawa? especially if it involves another person? If he really loves you and respect you Z, he will never cheat remember that. That made speechless, there, I lost it. All I want to do now is to forget everything even just for a short period of time. Mom keeps on combing my hair while hugging me.

You don't deserve any of this Z. You are better than this baby, you are better than this. I used to cry for my barbie doll taken by my playmates and now I'm crying my for man who's happy in his mistress arms.

Hush now my baby girl. Everything will be fine. Just being with her comforts me. I hope so mom. I hope so.

Hindi ako bumitaw sa pagyakap kay mom hanggang sa maramdaman ko na lang ang pag bigat ng talukap ng akip mga mata. Sana bukas maging maayos na ang lahat. Sana

It is 3 in the morning. I woke up early than usual and I can't find my sleep anymore kaya bumangon na lang ako. Wala na dito sa mom sa kwarto baka umalis na siya matapos masigurado na maayos at mahimbing na ang tulog ko.

Nakita ko ang cellphone ko sa bedside table so I decided to open it and I saw 3 missed calls and 3 messages from Clint saying his sorry. Binasa ko pa ulit baka hindi ko lang napansin kung binati man lang ba niya ako ng happy anniversary pero mukhang nakalimutan niya nga talaga.

Pumunta na lang ako dito sa veranda with a bottle of champagne and glass in my hands, I really likes hanging in here. Napaka fresh ng air dahil madaming plants ang nakatanim dito sa likod, mom's love planting kaya nga may garden at gulayan dito na siya mismo ang nagtanim.

Thinking what my mom said last night made things clear to me now. Siguro nga hindi na tamang mag stay pa ako sa relasyon nato. Hindi na ako masaya. I already talked to Clint before about his mistress but maybe the old saying is partly true. Old habits die hard. I thought Clint can change and yeah I thought it wrong. My trust for him never work enough to make him faithful.

Naaalala ko pa kung paano niya ako niligawan. He kneel infront of me inside that cafe where I met him the first time, he kneel while holding a bouquet of white roses tapos may mga crew sa likod niya na may hawak na papel na may nakasulat na "Can I court you?" And tinanong ko siya kung bakit white roses ang hawak niya, sabi niya simbolo daw yun na seryoso at malinis ang hangarin niya sa akin. I said yes that time kasi sino ba naman ako para magpakipot pa. I like him alot plus the fact he look like Bradley.

We've dated for months at sa mga panahon na yun nakilala ko siya. Yes, he is a playboy back then pero pinatunayan niya sa akin na he can change but not for long. Nagawa na nga niya e, niloko na niya ako. I bitterly smile with that thought.

So maybe it is the right time to finally let him go. And again and again I cried this morning for the last time. Huling iyak ko na to na siya ang dahilan because I decided now to end things between us.. so, let me be, I promise this is the last time I'll cry this hard for him.