I didn't even have the patience to make this rhyme. I've tried. TIME AND TIME AGAIN. Just to feel whole again. I'm empty. And the grim reaper tempts me. I wouldn't have to feel it anymore. Your stomach turns at gore. But me at something more. Your insides feel frozen without the cold. Time is freezing from your stomach and lungs. You scoff in the mirror. It couldnt be any clearer you hate yourself. I could vomit a better personality than mine. And would time youd grow to like it more than I. I was hurting. I thought I wanted pain. FOR ONCE I wanted you to fill me instead. I felt dead. But you were busy with your attitude. As I died inside you and tried to hide, I gave you a smile unbelievably wide. I can't STAND being taken advantage of. But I do it every time. ILL NEVER WANT ANYTHING AGAIN.....but I'll say I will. Because you'll ask. Maybe I should just go back to being cold. Never bold. No smiles. I stray from bottles, but maybe it wont be that bad. I drain myself of happiness by giving it other people. But now much chest feels like it's going to cave in. I gave in. And I wanna again. What use is being friendly. When I have no friends. I heard crying makes it better. And I wish so badly that I could. So maybe someone could see how much it hurt. But instead I smile the next day and they assume that it had no worth. I'm not worthless. I.....think? I sat here and couldn't even think of my value. I wanna be happy but do I even deserve it. I can't do more than just be constantly hurting. I love you but I'm losing it. I love you but im losing you. I love you but somethings hurting me. You arent even helping me find it. And I shouldn't be blaming you. That's where it gets confused. Because I did it by myself. And you werent there then. I could DIE and everyone would keep playing games. Keep living and keep pushing forward. What's the worth. What's my worth. Why can't I be happy.
