Just One Day

Part 3: 'I love you.'

The thing was Jimin was in love. He'd been in love for years now, and he was pretty sure Yoongi was, if he was anything at all, merely in lust.

On the one hand, Jimin would have done anything to be close to Yoongi. He loved his company. He loved how he felt super comfortable with the older boy; how they could talk about everything under the sun; how Yoongi always knew how to cheer him up and put his fears and insecurities to rest. Even when hyung was teasing, he managed to make Jimin smile and laugh til tears streamed down his cheeks.

From the time it was formed, the whole band had been sort of forced to spend time together. They lived together. Travelled together. Practised songs and dance routines together, obviously. They were also filmed constantly to entertain their fans. They lived under constant scrutiny, their most mundane actions turned into bizarre 'performance art' for the amusement of the Army. 

BTS were expected to perform practically 24/7, in some way or another, including playing silly games, and answering the neverending stream of questions that the fans sent in via various channels. There were some days when the only time anyone got to himself was in the toilet, shower and in bed, asleep. 

They hardly saw their families. They NEVER saw any friends they had had pre-BTS. All they had were each other -- and it was not really a choice. You could say that the seven of them were compelled to be together, and in the absence of any alternative, they were forced to be close. Maybe you could even argue that their closeness, apart from the practical, physical closeness of daily living, was all an act. However, Jimin couldn't put up a permanent pretence. Maybe the others could, but as time passed, he began to feel genuine regard for his bandmates. He had always needed people in his life, he was no loner, and it was necessary to talk over his problems, socialise with friends, feel affection for and from them. 

He was filled with deep respect and admiration for Namjoon, the talented and kind leader of the band; Taehyung was adorable and delightfully quirky -- the ideal partner in crime when Jimin wanted to be silly; Hobi was funny and so cheerful that Jimin couldn't help but feel happy in his presence; Jin was handsome and warm hearted, although a little hard to get close to; and Jungkook was the perfect guy -- what couldn't he do! Jimin felt a tiny bit intimidated by of the youngest of the team, the Golden Child, but then Kookie, while confident, was never arrogant. He was warm and helpful, and so goofy that it was impossible not to like him. And then there was Yoongi ... 

Yoongi. Min Yoongi. 

Whenever Jimin felt depressed, he would close his eyes and say his friend's name to himself, like a mantra. It comforted him, and gave him strength because Yoongi was strong. Yoongi, the man of few words with his deadpan expression, was really the warmest, most caring person Jimin knew. Once you got to know him, he opened up and became really chatty, but he didn't just shoot his mouth up and say nonsense. He chose his words carefully and it was obvious that he thought about things a lot before he remarked on them. Also, he was so talented, in so many ways. Jimin felt awe and excitement whenever he watched Yoongi play the piano, rap, dance -- just perform in any way -- and his heart would overflow with love whenever he watched his friend speak on stage, whether it was addressing Army, or when Yoongi made an announcement or a speech to accept an award. 

Yoongi made him feel so proud. Jimin loved him so much, so yes, he wanted desperately to be with him, in all kinds of ways. Yet ... 

If they made out or even had sex just cos Yoongi was horny, how would Jimin feel after it was over? Would he be able to cope with the loneliness that followed? Would he be able to continue being friends and interacting with Yoongi normally knowing that hyung just wanted him for sexual release and not because he returned Jimin's love?