Sounds Fake, but Okay | ✓

t w e n t y

   Catalina tossed and turned in her bed, her nagging mind keeping her awake despite her drowsiness and exhaustion. She stared at her ceiling and groaned, covering her face with her forearm. She didn't want to think about the fight, she didn't want to think about Jae's confession, she didn't want to think about Jae at all.

   Catalina sat up from the bed and rubbed her face. She hugged her knees and glanced at her phone. She didn't know why she expected him to call her. He'd usually do that every now and again to check up on her, especially on Sundays. She knew he wouldn't call, but the thought lingered.

    She reached for her phone, her fingers rested on top of it as she couldn't stop staring, waiting. She wanted to check up on him, make sure he didn't get into a fight with his mother after such a spectacle. She wanted to make sure he was alright but she knew she was probably the last person he wanted to talk to and he probably wanted to keep it that way for a week or two.

    Catalina couldn't help but replay everything in her mind. How obvious it'd been that he liked her. How his eyes would linger on her hand after she'd brush it against his arm or ruffle his hair. Or how he'd tense under her touch and avoid eye contact for a second or two. God, how stupid was she? How come she didn't read the signs? They'd been so clear!

    She could even hear the jealousy from Jae's tone when he asked if she was breaking up with him because of Philip. In hindsight, it probably had to do with Philip. She wasn't over him. She was still stuck in the hole she'd dug nearly two years ago. She fell back on her bed and grabbed her phone, flickering it on. Immediately she was greeted with a picture of Jae smiling, as he'd allowed her to take the photo only once.

    Another groan escaped her lips and she tossed the phone back unto the nightstand. Now that Jae confessed that he liked her, it was better that they broke up. Catalina needed to sort out her feelings for Philip and she didn't want to put Jae's feelings at stake. She didn't want to use him, not when he actually liked her.

    Catalina didn't sleep that night. In the morning hours, when her phone's alarm rang, she slumped forward and rubbed her eyes, cursing herself now that she had a full day of school ahead of her. She didn't bother to dress up; all she did was slip into some sweats and a windbreaker. She walked past the mirror without taking a look and headed downstairs, sure her day wouldn't get any better from there.

    The day didn't help her mood. Dense, smoke-grey clouds hung overhead. The trees outside bowed in the wind, and it was clear that it'd probably rain in the afternoon. She walked past the umbrella leaning against the wall, since the bus stop was close enough.

    "Mija, you're gonna be late for the bus." Marcela set a plate of food on the table before she took off the apron and fixed her hair. "I have to go now, mi amor, but make sure you're home early. Su papa is coming home today. And please wear a jacket."

    Catalina slowly nodded her head after her mom kissed her cheek and grabbed her purse from the kitchen counter. Catalina took an arepa from the plate and nibbled on it while she heard her mother call out another goodbye as the front door shut behind her.

    "You look like the matrix girl with your hair like that." Paola strolled into the kitchen and snatched an arepa from Catalina's plate.

    Catalina shot her a look before rolling her eyes and standing straight. "I have to go."

    "Yo, what happened to you? Did Philip text something else? Please don't tell me he begged to get back with you."

    Catalina hadn't even remembered about the Instagram text, but now she felt the pit in her stomach form in seconds. She rubbed her face. "I don't even want to know."