EMOTIONS: My Hero Academia | Various x Reader

[t w e l v e | hero]

One year later...

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// (Y/N)'s POV //

"It's Crimson Riot."

"Nice one (Y/N)!"

I gave a small fake smile to the pro hero in front of me. Her name was Sosaki Shino, otherwise known as the Wild Wild Pussycats' Mandalay. She's been tutoring me about heroes for the past year when Himari was super busy with her job.

"That about sums up our lessons for today. You're getting so much better (Y/N)!" The pro-hero ran her hands through her hair while closing the two-inch thick book filled with information about pro heroes.

"At this rate, I'm sure you would pass that entrance exam. I better get going, Ryuko and the others are picking me up for patrol today. I'll just let you be. Happy birthday, (Y/N)." She gave a gentle smile. The steps of her shoes were heard through the quiet house while I heard her open and close the front door.

I suddenly heard the loud energetic voice of Ryuko and the loud revving engine of the Pussycats' car.

It's been exactly a year since that "incident". Now that it's been so long I can go days without even thinking about it. I can say my recovery is going pretty well. Normally, anyway.

Today was... different.

This marks the sixth year since the day I was kidnapped. And it's just harder to not think about that time. Especially knowing the fact that the very bad things during those five years in capture happened on this day specifically.

So today, I've been forcing myself to stop thinking about. Forcing myself to think of the positive things, like how I can now understand a few emotions a bit better.

I can understand sadness, happiness, embarrassment. I just never actually feel it.

Like, I know what it's supposed to feel like but I never know if it's real because I've been faking for so long. I always question if what I'm feeling is genuine or not.

I'm forcing myself to feel what people want me to feel. And I know for sure that it isn't real.

One thing I do know how to genuinely feel, and not fake, is annoyance. I was (and still am) getting pretty tired of everyone asking about how I was. The questions were annoying.

So to get them to stop, I pretend. I smile a half-assed smile that doesn't even reach my eyes.

I force myself to tear up at situations that are supposed to be sad. You can imagine the rest.

I haven't used my emotions quirk in a year because it never worked. I was empty. There was nothing strong enough for me to genuinely feel. Annoyance was definitely not strong enough. Believe me, I tried.

I guess my quirk relies on adrenaline, euphoria or strong waves of depression. So anger, sadness, and happiness really are the emotions that have the most effect on my quirk.

But when Himari came out of the closet to me, she tried telling me about love. How love can make you feel all sorts of things. I want to feel it. She made it seem like it was one of the best feelings in the world.

I just never could.

As a result, I never actually knew how to fake that emotion. I never knew what to do whenever someone asked me about it. But with the help of Aya, I was able to avoid and dodge these questions. Luckily, it's a very rare scenario that someone asks that.