I am trying so hard to grab onto my surroundings to avoid falling into this pit of darkness beneath me. The darkness is overwhelming, it's darker than the blackest black, you can feel the sadness of the pained souls that ended up trapped below without a way to get out... I've been there before, it's like quickly sinking into the deepest, scariest and darkest part of the ocean. You can feel the pressure surrounding you as you claw at the dense blackness around you, desperate to find a way out. It's like drowning but worse, you feel as though you are being crushed, you feel the slow fish of water filling your lungs as you attempt to scream, begging for someone to find you and pull you out. You have this sense of fear that is worse than you've ever felt before, fear of being left in the pit, fear of being abandoned by the people you need most, fear of being left alone to die in thick black sadness....
I don't want to go back..
But there's an issue I didn't face before, I am struggling up above too... there's a noose tied around my neck and the more I struggle to free myself the worse it becomes. I can feel the rope rubbing my neck dry. I feel a burn in my chest as I struggle to breathe, the burning feeling courses through my veins as panic rises throughout my bones. Panic that either way, I will end up being submerged in my sorrows... I found a way to get loose, I could finally be free, but I have a choice to make...
Would I rather suffocate by the hands of others or would I rather drown by the hands of myself?..
