Love Fool

9 Lost keys and ketchup chaos

Date night, Saturday evening.

Maddy: Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

Me: Ha ha, very funny, Lionel Richie. What took you so long to pick up the phone?

Maddy: Nice to hear from you too.

Me: Maddy?

Maddy: Yes?

Me: Help!

Maddy: What's up, babe?

Me: I locked myself out of my apartment and I can't get back in. I'm running late for my date with Sven, and I can't couch surf at your place because Sven set up camp in your and Jonas' living room.

Maddy: Ha ha, love karma bit you hard, bitch!

Me: Maddy! Help me out! Can you pump up the air mattress in your room? I need to stay in your room tonight after my date with Sven!

Maddy: Oi, Jonas! Eva locked herself out of her own apartment and she's late for her first date with loverboy!

Jonas in the background: She's looking for an excuse to sleep at our place with Sven tonight! Tell her there's no need to be shy. Excuses, excuses!

Maddy: Did you hear-

Me: C'mon, Maddy! It's not funny! I'm sleeping over tonight, okay?

Jonas in the background: She'd better get her ass to town. Sven left twenty minutes ago. She's late!

Maddy: Honey, you can sleep in my room. I think you'll be couch-surfing with Sven tonight though.

I heard Jonas snort-laughing in the background while Maddy chuckled.

Me: Thanks, Maddy. I love you! I've got to go now. I need to call a cab.

Here's the thing. I forgot my keys in the apartment as I was excitedly leaving for my date with Sven. My heart was racing and my adrenaline was kicking in at the realization that I was really dating the guy.

However, I didn't think about the keys, which were still on the kitchen counter, until I slammed the front door shut. The door had a push-button doorknob that I automatically pushed whenever I left the house.

Who makes doorknobs with push-buttons these days?

Based on how much I paid to live in this trendsetter's paradise, the apartment manager could at least have some kind of biometric keyless system for front doors.

Oh yeah, speaking of the apartment manager, I rang him before calling Maddy, asking if he could let me in with his spare key. You know what he said? "Read the notice on my office door."

Following the conversation, I walked up to the manager's door and read the one-page notice:

Dear tenants

I am currently on out of the office and will not return until two p.m. on Sunday afternoon.

If the matter is urgent, you can come and see me then.

Regards

Brian Wills
on behalf of the Management Team

What the heck? Now? Really? What if the building was on fire?

I must have been an evil wizard in a past life and now I'm paying my fees.