Constrictor

Losing

Looking back into the pouch I notice a piece of paper. Pulling out the white sheet I inspect it, looking at every corner. I realize it was the poem that my mother gave me when I still lived back at home before my addiction got to the point where it is today. The name Atrophy written on the top. It was one of her favourite poems, to her it meant something else that no one could ever understand. On the bottom a message written in her handwriting.

"For my lovely daughter Emily. Don't you ever lose who you are. You keep your youth alive, always keep dancing to the beat of your own tune. I know you are different, we all are. You don't have to follow the path of your father, your peers or even me. But don't lose your way, you are way to special to be just an empty shell. You aren't defined by an addiction, you have more meaning than what it has done to you. Em you and only you have the means to make you life meaningful, and nobody else can set a path out for you. Don't refuse everything, you were always beautiful dancing among the sun. XOXO mom."

A tear rolls down my cheeks as I try to desperately rub it, almost as if I was trying to hide my emotions from someone watching. I remember her telling me that this poem represented the people who have lost their path. That they believed that life had no meaning, and always asked why. Why them? What did they do to deserve this? She hated people like that. Mother always said that life is as meaningful as you make it, and she believed that the author, Julia Copus, was trying to say the same thing. That you can't neglect yourself, your body is an instrument that must be kept up. And when you let it go you shouldn't be surprised, as you lost your way. It's up to way to keep your strings tuned and to keep dancing to the beat that gave you meaning. However mother believed that along the way I got to much into the harsh ways that this world has. I instead left my strings hanging, and started doing drugs. In order to create a meaningful life you must take care of your body as a musician does his instrument. You cant let yourself go and then wonder why you have lost.