Combination Of Letters

Love?

The worst thing about loving someone who doesn't make you feel loved is the hope
Its the hope that is the absolute worst part of it all
Its this thing that keeps you going even though you know you should stop
I want to make him feel like he is cared for
I want him to recognize his worth
We get along so well and talk endlessly about the most random things
The other day we talked about cars for hours
Then music
Then culture
Then the weirdness of the world
With him I can't stop smiling
Its always been that way since the day I met him
But whenever I feel down about myself or I'm in pain, he is never really there
I tell him I feel ugly and his response is "well if you were I wouldn't be here" maybe he's just bad at flirting but I wish he would say something different
For awhile we weren't allowed to talk to each other
I missed him every single day
He said he missed me too
He hugged me and held me for so long once we finally saw each other again
We cuddle in the car
We sing together
We laugh
But its the little things he does that hurts the most
He pulls away from my kisses or says ew right after
He pushes me away

I wish he cared about me the way I cared about him