The Villainess Will Not Bring Dishonor To Her Family

149 - My Last Goodbyes

I cannot endure this any longer...

My ears, my head, my pride and my honor hurts. The shocks and public humiliation is unbearable, and even then the voices of the wind gods howl in anger.

How much longer can I keep up this mask before I crumble?

I leave the great hall with hurried steps, heading towards an empty room. Any empty room. Any place where I can be alone would be enough.

I want to take a horse and ride away on my own in this moment, but I cannot be so ignorant to my own position.

In the end, all I can do is shut myself in one of the guest rooms of the castle and lock the door shut while my head echos with the wailing voices of the wind

"Foul wolf! Sneaky maid! Sneaky dangerous!"

"Rude!"

"Insolent!"

"Audacious faeries!"

Though I can no longer see them their voices still ring I my head. They are gods that does not know the difference between thoughts and speech, but even so this is the first time I've experienced them be so angry at anything but corrupted magic.

I've said this before, but the gods here are more powerful than they were in my former world... and they carry a grudge towards faeries that may be as strong as the one towards corruption.

"Foolish faeries!"

Another screech goes through my mind as I sink down against the now locked door and cover my ears and hold my head.

"Again! It does it again! It intends to harm!"

They slip between the cracks of the door and leave... leaving me alone in the cold and quiet room while my head and heart feels as though they begin to split.

I must restrain my treacherous voice from slipping out. As much as I want to scream and roar out the feelings in my chest, I know that someone will hear. I squeeze my eyes shut and curl together up against the door as a small pathetic bundle of a person.

It's too much.

As much as I have a feeling that the crown is far less honest and good than they seem, as little proof there is there of that statement.

I hate this country. It's filthy, greedy and dishonest. It is a viper's nest where only the sly survive. The parties have the poison flow freely, and even kids being poisoned is just another small event.

If it was just House Salender then I could deal with it. I could swallow my pride and accept their existence of nothing else... but it's not.

It's dishonorable.

Yet, I cannot betray it. Honor demands my loyalty regardless of my hate... as long as the crown keeps their hands off of my family.

I want things to change as well!

Yet I mustn't give into the temptation of taking that which belongs to my Lord for myself.

I must not allow any dishonor to fall upon my family.

I must fulfill my duty. I must fight for this kingdom no matter how much I hate the capital and its nobles. I must give my life for it.

No matter how much I wish... no matter how much I wish to see the seductress pay for her crimes.

For they are crimes!