Forever Ago

Chapter 5

Chris looked up at you with his glossy eyes. He looked defeated and it broke your heart to see him that way; yet you were battling with the fact that he too broke your heart.

"I mean God Chris! We've been friends since we were in kindergarten! And then you go off to acting school and I couldn't have been more proud or supportive of you," your voice was getting louder the angrier you got; your hands raising in the air as you spoke. "And then you slowly stop responding to my texts and phone calls until one day...ONE DAY out of nowhere you just stop altogether! Do you know how much that hurt me Chris?" You were full on crying now, not even ashamed.

Chris stood up from the couch and walked towards you but you only backed away, not wanting to be close to him right now. Even though all you wanted was to be wrapped in his arms and for him to comfort you like he used to do when you were growing up.

"I'm so sorry Jessica. I fucked up," his voice was soft, unsure.

Your eyes snapped to his. "You fucked up? That's all you're going to say? After HOW many years of friendship and just flat out DELETING me from your life for no reason? What the hell kind of excuse is that?"

"Nothing I say can make what I did ok. Because what I did to you wasn't fine. I ruined the best relationship of my life all because I let Hollywood get the best of me when I first started."

More tears stung your eyes as you took deep breaths trying to calm down. Although he hurt you painfully so, it was a mixture of emotions to see him right now; to hear his voice. It had been too long since you heard his voice. "Then why don't you explain to me what happened? Why you decided I was no longer good enough to be in your life?"

"Jess it's not like that."

"Well it damn sure FEELS that way Chris!" Your eyes were wide, face warm from anger.

"Like I said, I let Hollywood get the best of me. When I moved out to Los Angeles and got my first job, it was nothing but parties and women," he spoke, his words hurting your heart even more. "Then I got my first girlfriend out there and she was an actress too. I was still talking to you a lot at the time and she was really jealous about it." Your gaze landed on his sad eyes. "And then...I just slowly stopped responding to you because I was constantly with her and I...fuck I don't know. I didn't want her to break up with me over this."

Your eyes clenched close, your arms wrapping around your torso. "So you stopped texting and calling me because of a girl?" You just couldn't believe it. Chris was never this type of person, even in high school. Sure he dated a couple girls here and there, but if any of them got jealous of you, he would brush them off. He always said you were more important than some jealous girlfriend.

"I know it sounds horrible and it is. It truly is. Her and I were together for a few years and during that time, my phone broke. None of my contacts were saved and I lost your phone number."

"Fucking Christ Chris! You lost my phone number so that's another excuse? Did it ever occur to you to ask your mother, or Scott, or Carly, or Shana for my phone number? Who the hell are you even anymore? Hollywood changed you Chris and not for the better. You are a whole different person. Someone I never imagined you to be."

It hurt for you to say those words, but it was true. He really did change.

"I know Jess. But that was back in my 20's. I've had a lot of time to reflect and think since then. Every time I came home I would stare out my bedroom window at your house. It hurt me so much to know that I had hurt you. I hated the person I was in my 20's. That wasn't me at all. And I've slowly made my way back to who I was. I hate living in Los Angeles. I really do Jess. I don't like the atmosphere there. I come home as often as I can now. Each time I'm hoping that you moved back into your childhood home, but you never did."