Cry

Chapter 1 Freshman year

My freshman year is kind of foggy to me. Even though I'm just now starting sophomore year, I still can't remember half of what happened, or the people I met.

I'll start out with the most interesting thing that always seems to come to mind when I think back.

October 1st.

Probably one of the most horrific dated days of my life. I'm 14 and it's almost time for the dance we have every year. I wanted my crush to ask me. I've liked him for about 2 years by the time of the dance. Alex. Probably one of the guys I'll never lose feelings for. He'll always be there. When I'm dating someone, engaged to some guy, and married. No matter what there's always Alex in the back of my heart somewhere

Anyways, what happened was all I wanted was him to take me to the dance. My friends of course found out about it. So one day I'm walking home , I head across the street and make it about 5 secs pass the light and I hear screaming. Loud, a noxious screaming. I turn around to see my two friends Ciara and Ali running towards me. They keep screaming "Dani! Alex! He said yes! Alex's going with you to the dance!"

I couldn't Believe what I heard. I was still trying to process what was being said and I was angry, happy, excited, and embarrassed at the same time. My friends? They asked him to the dance for me? That's not what I wanted! I wanted HIM to ask me!

There I stand, just waiting for them to burst out laughing saying "Just kidding! We would never do that!" But it never happened.

So I went across the street to find Alex waiting there for the city bus. Of course he would be there..

All I wanted to do was just say "hey.. Uh, sorry about that. I don't know what they were thinking. We don't have to go to go to the dance. I had no idea they were gonna do that"

But no. I just stood there waiting for something to happen. Him to make the first move.

Nothing was said... Not even a glance at each other..

Of course when I got home I was upset. Then I got the God for saken text.

"I want to go as friends"

as if the no talking wasn't hard enough, to get this text just tore about half my heart off.

I couldn't just not text him back. So I said "okay." Like an idiot. I don't know what I was doing.

The next day, I see him in orchestra. Still no communication, nothing.

That whole day we never said a word to each other. Though I was hoping maybe he would talk to me..

When I got home he texted me a long paragraph

"I don't want to go the dance with you, or with anyone. I didn't appreciate your little friends coming up to me and putting me on the spot. I have a hard time saying no to people and I hate it. And I learned a new word today "assertive" and it means to let people Come in and define you and I won't do that anymore. And I'm sorry if this ruins our friendship but it needs to be said."

Ouch. That's what I felt as I was about to get into my bath..

I was down on my floor crying and burying my head in my knees just wanting the world to go away. I hated Ciara and Ali, I hated them!

It wasn't my fault they did that. Of course he didn't know that.. But he needed to. So I texted him back. Telling him everything I knew and how I did want to go to the dance, but not like this. And I agreed that we shouldn't go.

I wasn't about to go to the dance with him after that!

I got into my warm bath and I just stared blankly at the wall.

Did all of that really just happen? Did my middle school and high school crush just...ugh. Right then and there. I just wanted to go under the water and not come up.